This story contains a few words that might be considered inappropriate as well as some specific sexual details. If you do not feel this is acceptable, please do not read it. The smoke from far too many cigarettes hung low around the tables where others were sitting and the lights in the bar were dim enough that I had to remain quietly seated at a table in the darkened area for a few minutes to allow my vision to adjust. While I was sitting there the barman walked over and asked me what my poison was. I don’t come here often enough that the barkeeper automatically knows what I drink so I asked for my usual drink, a Canadian Rye on the rocks with just a splash of water. When he returned with my glass of whiskey I had been able to take a good look around the room and I could see that the gentleman I wanted to talk to was there, sitting in the back corner with his current girlfriend. The barkeep asked me if I wanted to run a tab, and I replied that I would like to keep it straight with each drink in case I had to leave suddenly. He asked for the seventy five cents hard liquor drinks cost these days and I slipped him a dollar. “I understand that your name is Philip Morris. Lucky, the owner, would like you to join him and his twist at his table.” The barman said. My name is indeed Philip Morris and I had actually come to see Lucky, but I didn’t know why he would want to see me. The reason I wanted to see him was that he had recently switched dames, and I was dying to know his old twists name and if she was available for me to hit her up for a date. I had been observing over the last couple of years that the owner of this gin mill, a guy who was nicknamed Lucky Strike, and I had a very similar taste in broads. His real name was Larry, but everyone called him Lucky, probably because of the endless unfiltered Lucky Strike cancer sticks he puffed on, lighting each new one from the embers of the previous one. Along with owning this bar he ran the numbers game in this part of town, and, if one valued his life, the one thing that a man did not do was to make a move on one of Lucky’s dames without making sure that the way was clear. I took my glass of cheap rotgut swizzle and carried it over to his table. “You wanted to see me Lucky?” I asked. “You still doing that gumshoe stuff shamus?” Lucky asked. “I am. Not much work these days, but I am doing what I can. Officer Winston down at the 5th precinct throws me a bone once in a while on a missing person’s case that the flatfoots can’t solve, but even with his infrequent help the pickings have been mighty slim recently. And every once in a while George Marlboro calls me to pick up a bailer. He just hates it when they run out on their bond and leave him stuck.” I answered. “Myrna, this here is Philip Morris. He is a private dick and so far he seems to be one of the better ones.” Lucky introduced me to his twist and she squinted myopically at me with her weak brown eyes fluttering behind the thick lenses of her glasses. As soon as I looked into those weak eyes through those thick pieces of plano concave glass that were the lenses of her glasses I was lost. I had mentioned that Lucky and I had the same taste in the ladies. We both went for dames that were very nearsighted and wore strong glasses. The glasses alone didn’t do it for me as they also had to be a reasonably tall drink of water, with a nice ass and a great set of hooters. Long straight blond hair was also an asset for me and this one fit the bill like a fine leather glove. But so did the girl that Lucky had been escorting around before Myrna came on the scene. I didn’t know Lucky’s secret for finding these gorgeous highly myopic dames, but I sure wished I did. I suspected that he had an in with some of the eye doctors around town and if anyone could do that he was the man. It was very possible that he had a couple of doctors that he often carried for their losses on the numbers, as anyone who played the numbers was a mug in my eyes, but at least that way Lucky could get the names and addresses from them of these beautiful, very nearsighted, dames that we both were attracted to. “My pleasure Myrna. What can I do for you Lucky?” I asked. “Do you remember Sally Fields? She was my girl before Myrna came along?” Lucky asked. Oh boy did I ever remember Sally. Sally was the broad I wanted to ask Lucky if he would possibly give me her phone number. She was just a perfect dame for me in my eyes. She wasn’t quite as long legged as Myrna, but she did have legs that were formed to near perfection. These legs ran into a perfectly shaped butt, on to a slim trim waist followed by a chest size no man could possibly find anything to complain about. Her long straight blond hair framed a simply angelic face and the glasses she wore to see any further than her hand in front of her nose were perfection doubled. Her black cat eye frames with the gold bands around the bottom of those strong minus lenses set off her light coloring perfectly. And the strong minus lenses – well let me tell you that for me they were to die for. There were not too many dames that looked as gorgeous to me as Sally and the myodisc lenses she wore made her one in a million in my book. “Yeah, I sort of remember Sally.” I said casually. “Sort of? Look shamus, I have had you pegged for a long time. Whenever I show up with a new broad you can’t keep your eyes off her. I think if I were to tell you that Myrna was available you wouldn’t waste a minute before you asked her for a date. We got the same taste in the broads and I think it might have something to do with their eyewear.” Lucky told me. “Is Sally available?” I asked as my heart went pitter patter. “That’s up to you bud. She is available if she wants to be. But first you might have to put on your detective shoes.” Lucky said. “What do you mean?” I asked. “Sally called me tonight. Her twin brother has been snatched and Sally wanted to know if I could help get him back.” Lucky said. “Her twin brother? I didn’t even know she had a brother, and I sure don’t have a clue why anyone would snatch him.” I replied. “He was out of work a few months back and I knew that Paul Maul was looking for a bookkeeper, so I told Chester about the job and he went to see Paul. Paul hired him and he has been working for him for just under a year now.” Lucky told me. I had to get out of this bar. The smoke from the cigarettes was hanging low and it was killing me, but I had to find out why Chester Fields had been snatched before I went anywhere. These days a person who didn’t smoke was at a real disadvantage because you couldn’t go anywhere without being enveloped in a hazy cloud of second hand smoke. “So what went wrong?” I asked. “Joe Camel and his boys want to take over part of Paul Maul’s action in the numbers game on the upper west side and I think they likely kidnapped Chester Fields in order to get the true numbers out of him from Paul’s second set of books.” Lucky replied. “The Camel gang are not a group that I would like to go up against. Far too many people have ended up in the Hudson wearing concrete shoes when they went up against Joe.” I answered. “But think how grateful Sally would be if you could get her brother back safe and sound. Listen Shamus, I don’t think that Joe and his boys are going to hurt Chester. He is such a milquetoast weakling that he will give everything up and they will then let him walk.” Lucky said. “But if Chester talks then Paul will likely have Chester done away with.” I replied. “Maybe your best bet would be to get your hands on Chester before he goes back to Paul.” Lucky responded. “But then I would have to get him out of town and if they are that close it would mean that Sally would probably follow him.” I said. “That is something you will have to work out Shamus. You got a pretty good ticket for getting things done, so maybe you can pull a rabbit out here. Sally’s number is Cherry 2545 so it’s in your ballpark now.” Lucky advised me. I wrote the number down and I got out of that smoke filled bar as fast as I could. I had gotten what I wanted when I went in there, but I didn’t like the odds I was heading up against. I was still hurting from the last job I had done, where Peter Jackson’s boys had worked me over. I had my 38 in my shoulder holster and my usual roll of quarters in my pocket but for some reason or another I always seemed to end up as the punching bag when I ran up against these mob guys. But my dream of holding Sally in my arms and staring into her minified eyes through her myodisc lenses was so strong I knew I wasn’t going to let the thoughts of a few more bruises stop me from calling her. “Hello. Who is calling?” The voice asked. “This is Philip Morris for Sally Fields. May I speak to her?” I asked. “This is Sally. Are you the Philip that is the private dick?” Sally asked. “Yes, that is me. I was talking with Lucky a little bit ago and he said you had a situation that I might be able to help you with if you were interested. Are you interested in having my help?” I queried. “I need somebody to help me. My brother has been kidnapped by Joe Camel’s gang and they are holding him somewhere. My brother works for Paul Maul and I think that Paul’s boys are looking everywhere for Chester.” Sally said. “I know Paul, and I know Joe. Maybe I can act as a go between.” I answered. “That would be wonderful. If you come over I can give you a retainer.” Sally said. I drove over to the address that Sally gave me. My anticipation at seeing her again made my heart flutter. And when Sally answered her door I knew I was done for. Seeing her standing there looking like perfection was better than all the dreams I had about her since the day I had heard that Lucky had a new dame. I gazed through the circles of her strong myodiscs into her minified weak blue eyes and I was lost forever. We talked about how I should go about getting Joe’s gang to release Chester. Lucky had already suggested to Sally that Paul would likely eliminate Chester if he had spilled the beans to Joe about the information that was in Paul’s hidden set of books, so our main focus was to get our hands on Chester before Paul’s boys got to him. I knew Joe, so I called him and advised him that I knew he had snatched Paul Maul’s main bookkeeper. He didn’t admit it, but he asked me why I was concerned about it. I told him the truth; that I was in love with Chester’s sister. When I said that I could see Sally’s eyes widen behind her myodiscs and I heard her whisper “But you don’t even know me.” Joe told me that they were finished with Chester and were planning to let him leave. I asked Joe to hold on to him for another hour so I could be there to pick him up before Paul’s boys got their hands on him. My last case had me going up against Peter Jackson’s gang. Peter ran the dockworkers, which included a lot of pilferage from goods coming into the country. A couple of his boys had caught me unawares when I was doing surveillance on the group who were doing the stealing and I had taken a bit of a beating. But in the end I had gotten the goods on the gang and had turned my findings over to the fuzz for prosecution. Peter wasn’t a bad guy to know, and he and I had patched things up after he was released. The D.A. felt he did not have enough evidence that Peter himself was involved to make any charges stick, although I knew that this must have taken a switch of a briefcase full of dough. Anyway, Peter and I were back on talking terms, so I gave him a call. I laid out the situation as I could see it unfolding, and Peter suggested that he could have some of his longshoremen assistants run interference for me. I happily took him up on his offer and he advised me they would be there before midnight. Sally wanted to go with me when I went to pick up her brother. I wanted to be in her company so badly that I reluctantly allowed her to come. We headed off in my old coupe to find the address that Paul had given me to pick Chester up at. It was an ancient brick warehouse in a rather seedy part of town, but being in that area was nothing new for me. I pulled my coupe up fairly close to the side door and waited. A few minutes before midnight a long black Caddy pulled up behind me and I figured this was likely a couple of Peter’s guys. I opened my door and walked back to check with the guys. I had seen these two goons before and I wasn’t really happy to see them again, as they were the two jokers that had laid a beating on me. They hadn’t put me in the hospital or anything, but I had pissed blood for a few days and I didn’t like that. However, this time they were on my side so I had to let bygones be bygones. Right on the stroke of midnight the side door of the warehouse opened and a skinny little guy walked out. I wasn’t sure that this was Chester, as I had never seen him before. I could tell that he wore glasses though as the glint from the streetlights reflected from his lenses. “That’s Chester. Should I call for him to come over here?” Sally asked. “Just sit tight. We will go over to get him.” I replied. The two goons got out of their car when I got out of mine and we all walked across the street to where Chester was standing. As I got close enough to see him I looked at his face and I saw a pair of glasses in front of his eyes that had to be a lot stronger than the myodiscs that Sally needed. They were also myodiscs, but the circles were only the size of a dime instead of the quarter sized circles that were in the glasses that Sally needed. He was fairly tall, but oh so thin and he looked like a beanpole standing there. I told him that Sally was waiting for him in my car across the street, and the four of us walked over to my coupe. Chester got in the back seat, and I asked Peter’s guys to follow me for a while to make sure that we didn’t have anyone tailing us. They peeled off after about 15 minutes, so I figured we were home free. But I couldn’t take Peter to his place, nor did I want to take Sally back to her apartment. My only choice was to take them to my little apartment. I had 2 small bedrooms and a couch in the living room, so we could each have a place to sleep. I would rather have had Sally sleep with me, but unfortunately this wasn’t really a date and I rather doubted that she would be willing to crawl into the sack with me no matter how much I wanted it. I explained my proposed sleeping arrangements while we were still driving to my place. Sally could have the guest room, Chester got the sofa and I was sleeping in my own bed. Chester did ask why he couldn’t go home to his own bed, but Sally and I explained that if he had told Joe Camel the truth about Paul Maul’s second set of books it was highly likely that Paul would have his guys rub him out like a pencil with an eraser. He was so naive that he found that hard to believe and he wanted to call Paul up as soon as we got to my place and tell Paul that he couldn’t help it that he told Joe and his men what they wanted to know. Something wasn’t right with this scenario. In my experience with these mob guys if one of them wanted to pooch another one’s territory they usually went in blasting. For one gang to snatch the bookkeeper of the rival gang and get the information they wanted from him was rather unusual. I tried to work my brain to see what I could come up with, but the old grey matter wasn’t giving me any ideas and before I could think of anything else we were at my apartment building. I parked in a vacant stall, and we walked up the three flights to my unit. Once we were safely inside I offered Sally and Chester a drink, mostly because I needed one myself. Chester declined, but Sally accepted a gin and lime Ricky. Sally looked at the spare bedroom and she checked out the sofa. She shocked the daylights out of me when she suggested that Chester could have the spare bed and if it was all right with me she would share my bed. I knew she was no virgin. After all she had gone out with Lucky for about 6 months, but I had a hard time believing that she would share my bed before we even dated. However, I was not going to argue over my good fortune. This was like a dream come true and I was thinking I was going to wake up any minute to find out it all had been just a dream. Once we had gotten inside and into better light I could take a good look at Chester. I had mentioned that he was tall, taller than my 6’. He likely had a couple of inches on me. But where I was a muscular 210 or so he couldn’t have weighed any more than 170. He was the perfect before model for that advertisement where a bully kicks sand in a skinny guys face and then the skinny guy goes to a gym and gets all muscled up so that he can beat the crap out of the bully. But even if Chester were to work out and get a few muscles he would never be able to face up to a bully. All you had to do was to take a look at his glasses and you would realize that he was so helpless without them that he would never put himself in a position where he could possibly loose, or break them. Behind the dime sized portion of the myodisc that Chester had to look through to see anything his eyes were just a tiny black dot in the center of the myodisc circle. The black dot was surrounded by a very pale blue iris and his eyes looked so small and distant through the lenses that they even looked extremely weak. It didn’t help that he was constantly blinking and if he tried to see anything in the distance his eyes would go partially closed as if to focus on what he was looking at to make it a little bit clearer. I am enthralled by glasses, but in Chester’s case I felt a little sorry for him in having such poor eyesight. It didn’t seem to bother him though. Sally had the same blue to her eyes as Chester, but her eyes were not minified as much. Like Chester, she blinked a lot, but she did not scrunch up her eyes to look at anything. Her glasses looked like they belonged on her face, and I loved her appearance. She was just perfect for me and I could hardly wait for us to go to bed. Finally the time came and we headed to the bedrooms. Sally had no clothing with her and I lent her an old t shirt of mine, which she put on after she removed her bra. Her breasts were like round melons without the support of the bra. My bedroom has a table on my side of the bed with a light on it, and after we crawled under the covers I was about to put out the light. “Could you take my glasses and put them on the table beside the bed please Phil?” Sally asked me. “Would you rather sleep on this side of the bed so you can get them yourself if you need them?” I asked. “I like sleeping on this side the best. I think I can trust you enough to hand me my glasses back when I need them. I am not completely blind without them and I think I can find my way to the can if I need to go during the night.” Sally replied. “Whatever suits you is fine by me.” I said. “Did you mean what you said when you told Joe Camel that you loved me? You really don’t even know me.” Sally whispered. “I have been attracted to you ever since I first saw you with Lucky. I have dreamed of having you in my arms almost every night since you and he broke up. But I barely know you, and while I want to love you I will have to take some time to get to know you before I can tell you I really do love you.” I said honestly. “At least you are telling me the truth. I think I can make you love me in time though.” Sally said. I held her tightly in my arms, and we eventually drifted off to sleep. The next morning when I woke up Sally was already partially awake and when she felt me stir she asked me for her glasses back. I took them from the side table and unfolded the legs. Then I slipped them onto her face and watched her eyes struggle to focus through the powerful lenses. She blinked a few times and I could tell that she could see me clearly now. Sally got out of bed and went to the washroom. After she returned I also went, and I came back to the bedroom and got back under the covers. Sally kissed me and I reciprocated. And then I reciprocated a few more times. I was as hard as a rock and Sally could feel me pressing against her. She took my hand and had me touch her clitoris. I rubbed her vaginal area, first with my fingers, but then she asked me to touch her down there with my penis. She was getting all wet and juicy and before long my penis just slipped inside her. We made love and I know I came twice to her once. After we finished we just lay there and I held her close. Her glasses scratched my chest a couple of times, but I wouldn’t have asked her to take them off even if they had drawn blood. I loved looking at her, wearing nothing but her strong myodiscs. This was not love, just lust, but I knew that it wouldn’t take much before I did love her. “I have to shower Phil” Sally said. “I will join you and we can save on the water bill.” I replied. We showered together and while we were in the shower her glasses steamed up so much that she couldn’t see. I took them off, reached through the shower curtain and set them on a shelf over the sink. She washed her face, and then she scrubbed my back. I knew she was not able to see what she was doing, but I could feel that she was doing a great job and I was getting all hard again. I washed her back for her, and we rinsed the soap off. I shut the water off, opened the curtain and grabbed a clean soft towel, which I initially used on her glasses to clean them for her. Then I dried her face and put her glasses back in place. She had brought the clothing she had on the night before into the bathroom with her and she got dressed. I put on my shorts, and then went to the bedroom to put my pants and shirt on. Chester still had not come out of the bedroom by the time we were fully clothed so Sally went to wake him up and ask him what he wanted for breakfast. She cooked bacon and eggs and toast for all of us. I suspected that Paul would have had his men watching both Sally’s apartment and Chester’s place, and when they had not shown up at either place I figured he might then send his goons to watch my place. But I looked out the windows and could not see any cars that didn’t look familiar. This was getting stranger and stranger. I was thinking about what steps I could take to keep Chester Fields safe from Paul Maul and I was just sort of half listening to Sally and Chester as they talked. I could hear Chester telling Sally that he didn’t think he had anything to worry about from Paul. When I heard Chester tell Sally that the books that he had been going over for Joe Camel were the set of real books that Chester kept for Paul my ears started to perk up. “What do you mean the real books Chester?” I asked. “You know what I mean Phil. They were not the ones Paul has me do up for the government, they were the ones that show how much actual money he is taking in from the numbers racket.” Chester told me. “Did you take those books to Joe?” I asked. “No. Paul gave them to Joe to have his accountant look over. But Joe wanted me to look at them first to tell him if they were really the true books.” Chester replied. “Why the heck would Paul have given Joe his books?” I asked. “Because Joe is buying the numbers business from Paul in that part of town.” Chester said. “Why were you kidnapped then?” I asked. “I wasn’t kidnapped. Joe sent a car for me. My eyesight is pretty bad even with my glasses and I can’t drive a car so I told him I would be glad to look over the books and explain them to him as long as he supplied me with transportation.” Chester said. “I was told that you were kidnapped. I called Lucky to see what I should do and he suggested that he would help me out. The next thing I knew was that Phil called me and told me that he was willing to help me.” Sally said. “Why the heck would Joe not tell me that Chester was there of his own free will when I called him to see when he was going to let you go?” I asked with a puzzled expression on my face. “Joe is pretty cheap. Why should he have his guy’s drive me back home when someone else is willing to pick me up?” Chester said. “So all of this is a misunderstanding then I guess.” I said. “Oh Phillip, I don’t know how I will ever pay you back for helping me out!” Sally exclaimed. “Don’t worry Sally. I have been paid in full. Now Chester, would you have any objections if I kidnapped your sister for the rest of her life?” I asked. “I don’t. It seems like you are a pretty nice guy Phil, and if Sally is willing she can stay with you as long as she wants to.” Chester replied. Sally moved in with me and she went to work in my office as a receptionist and bookkeeper before she was promoted to my wife and then to head of the family after she became pregnant. Joe Camel hired Chester Fields to keep his books for him because he had seen what a good job Chester had done for Paul Maul. Lucky Strike is still running his bar and running the numbers game in that part of town. George Marlboro is keeping me pretty busy bringing in skips, and Officer Winston still throws me the odd missing person’s case. I have been doing my best to stay away from running afoul of any of the gangs because my wife has a bun in the oven and I want to live long enough to make it as a grandfather. I often think of my good fortune that I was called to help Sally out in the case of the mistaken snatch. Specs4ever April 2016
By the time you have read this far you will realize that this was written in the “Philip Marlowe” style of the 40’s and 50’s. I must have been reading too much Raymond Chandler at the time. But I thought it was a cute story after re-reading it a few times. Hope you enjoyed it and that it takes you away from the present kafluffle over on Eyescene