My parents never wanted me. To them a girl was a burden, I was clumsy and bumped into things and fell over a lot and did not learn to talk. All I did was carry the water and did all the the cleaning I was never sent to school.everybody laughed at me, they all used to shout out loudly,,here comes the crossed eye girl haha When I was 6 years old my aunty came to vist us, and my father begged her to take me back to England with her. My aunty was very kind to me, she took me to see her doctor as soon as we arrived In England. A month later I was taken to the hospital.The lady Doctor was very nice. She sat me in this big chair and stood beside me. Her voice was carm. When she asked me which way the shapes were pointing I asked what shapes as I couldn’t see any.then she put this funny frames thing on my face little by little I could start to see some big shapes appearing. Then the lady doctor told my Aunty that I could now see the top 2 lines so she would stop at that and I would have to go back in 3 months. Next my aunt took me to the next floor, where I was put into a glass box and this big things fitted over my ears and I was given a buzzer to press when I heard a sound. I did not know what she meant as I seemed to be sitting there ages before I heard anything.
2 Weeks later we returned to the hospital,that’s when my world started to change.As the lady opened a case and placed the round black metal frames on my face and hooked the cable behind my ears. My aunty gasp “Why are the lenses so thick?” The lady explained that I was very myopic and had a astigmation as well. Next the lady put this black patch over my right eye which I had to wear for 8 hours each day.
After that we climbed the stairs to where I had had my hearing tested. The Doctor soon arrived and pushed the funny shaped hard plastic things into both ears and hooked the enormous beige objects that looked like pale bananas over my tiny ears, what we’re all the horrid noises I could hear in my head. My aunt sneezed and the sound nearly blew my head off.
For the next 4 years we returned every 3 months each time my lens got thicker and thicker and my hearing aids were adjusted each visit.
When I reached 10 they decided the patching wasn’t working and I was always going to have a lazy eye,which would never get full correction, so on this visit I had a prism fitted in my left lens, It made my left lens look even thicker also my left eye felt as if it was being pull away from my nose
When I was 13 not only did my body shape change but there was a drastic change in not only my sight but also my hearing. I don’t know what my previous prescriptions were, but this time I was given the paper with the details on R -14.75 -2.25 170 Prism out 8. ADD 300 L -10 .25 -3.50 160 Prism out. 16 ADD 300 Circular bifocals to help with school work and reading.
Also my hearing aids got even bigger they had like a shoe pushed onto the bottoms and a cord attached to a box what I wore around my neck and the teacher used a microphone to talk to me at lesson times When my bifocal glasses arrived I hated the look of them,I thought only old people wore bifocals to help them read,not a 13 year old girl The frames were much bigger and heaver also the lens much thicker and each lens had a 28 mm circle at the bottom that I had to learn to look though to beable to read,when I looked in the mirror I could see that my face looked distorted and my eyes looked closer together, I hated the look of those stupid circles at the bottom of the lens it made me feel disabled. But I could now see so much better and after about 2 weeks I got used to looking through those stupid little circles to read. I now realised that I had to accept that my glasses were alway going to look strange.
I was determined to make a career as and eye Doctor,so I studied long hours even hiding under the sheets and using a small magnifier to help with the small print, after Aunty had said good night to me. I was too busy even to go for my regular eye checks.
2 years later I finally had to find time for an eye test. I was getting permanent headaches and having a problem focusing between close and distance without blinking hard.
When the Doctor started testing my eyes he asked “what have you been doing miss,your eyes are more like a 40 year old woman than a 15 year old girl”
He was horrified when I told him how I had been studying.
“Your distance vision has got much worse in the last 2 years. You can now only read the first 4 lines,with yours currant glasses that’s 3 lines less than before”
“Because of the large increase of the distance prescription you need, I suggest we fit you with your first pair of Myodiscs they will be much lighter and thinner but you will take a little time to get used to them as you will have less sideways vision and no reading add” “I know you are still very young but It’s also time you had your first pair of separate reading glasses” “This is the paper to give to the lady she will help you choose the frames”. R -18.75 -3.75 170 prisms out 12 L -14.75 -4.25 170 prisms out 16 28 mm Myodisc lens Suggest small round metal frames
Reading R -14.75 -3.75 170 prisms out 18 L -10.50. -4.25 170 prisms out 22 Use a stick on fresnel prisms for speed.
2 Weeks later I felt very nervous as the lady opened the case.I had not asked what Myodisc lenses were. I Kept my old glasses on so I could see what the new glasses were like My heart was pounding,They were black round metal frames, rather like my first pair I ever had, but the lens looked strange this time they had those 2 very small circle that were now in the middle of each lens the rest of the lens looked rather foggy
When the lady placed them on my face I was surprised how much lighter they felt But now I had to look straight ahead and through those 2 tiny circles to see anything,if I tried to move my eyes away from the small circles everything was blurred through the rest of the lens so I could only see forward. To see sideway I had to keep moving my head side to side the Lady said I would soon get used to it.then she gave me a small card to hold and read,I was shocked as I was unable to read even the biggest print, Then the lady handed the other case with my reading glasses in.what a difference. All lines were beautifully clear,but when I looked up I couldn’t even see the lady’s face clearly.and I had that pulling feeling again in my eyes For the next month I kept falling over. It was so difficult to get used to wearing my Myodisc lens and having to look through those tiny circles, I had to keep moving my head up and down and side to side, it made my neck ache. Why did I have to wear such strange glasses? I remembered once seeing an old man wearing glasses like these.,but I was only a 15 year old girl
The day after my 18th birthday my aunty told me that my mother had called and I was to return home next month to be married, I objected as I wanted to go to university, but Aunty said she had tried to explain it to my mother,but she was adamant that I return and the ticket had been booked. There was so much to do in such a short time. I hoped my exam result would arrive before I was due to leave, then perhaps my mother would change her mind,and let me stay and go to university first.
Aunty quickly booked both eye and hearing tests for Me. As usual the results were very bad my eyesight was deteriorating at an even faster rate than before and there were now the early signs of cataracts,the Dr did not think it was possible to get Myodiscs in the new prescription in time for my flight Next we went up to the hearing department,where the bad news constituted I was now profoundly Deaf in my right ear,so I was fitted with an even larger hearing aid. Fortunately there had been very little change in my left ear so I was fitted with a new hearing aid in a similar size to what I already had. The new glasses arrived just as we were about to leave for the airport so they were quickly added to my luggage.
My mother was waiting for me at the airport,I was not looking forward to this.I will soon meet my future husband. As soon as my mother saw me the problems started. “What? are those dreadful looking things you are wearing on your face, your eyes look so tiny looking though those 2 little circles take them off at once.
“But mother I can’t see without them”
My mother snatched them off of my face.and thrusted them into her bag My world was just a grey mass now.
“And take those things out of your ears this minute it’s rude to listen to music when I’m talking to you”
“But mother I can’t hear anything without them”
“Don’t be stupid”
I just did as she told me, I was in fear that she would take them away from me as well as my myodisc glasses.
My maid was kind enough to help me to my room then I explained my sight and hearing problems to her. She herself was myopica and not allowed to wear her glasses in public.but being only about minus 10 with a little astigmatism she was able to manage. Not like me I frantically searched in my suitcase for the new pair I had just purchased before leaving. I had never even looked at them let alone having time to try them on.Also there had not been enough time to get them made as Myodiscs but the eye Dr insisted that I get these as my prescription had increased by a further 5 diopters and my spare pair had been useless for some considerable time. As I opened the bag I stared at the prescription paper R -25.25 -2.75 175 prism out 18 L -20.50 -4.75 170 prism out 20 the case seemed much larger and heavier than normal.
My heart sank as I opened the case,the lenses were monstrously thick. The total thickness was more than 250 millimetres not only protruding beyond the back of the frames but also Infront to make things even worse the sides of the lens were highly polished and the silver metal frames were almost invisible. As Hidi helped me to place those 2 enormous lumps of glass on my face I felt the extreme weight on my nose, when I looked in the mirror I was in total shock. I could not believe how shrunken and distorted my face now looked with those lenses and no visible frame showing.I hated them compared to the black frame and Myodisc type lens which I have worn for the last 5 years. The only positive aspect was that I was no longer looking through the 2 tiny circles.Also I could now see much further than for a long time and had a much wider field of vision. But with the extra power for my distance vision in the new prescription I would now have to use my reading glasses much more often,it was impossible to focus my eyes on my phone, it just looked like a blurred object as I held it in my hand. Even the largest print would be impossible to read.
My maid was very helpful. She would warn me when my mother was around and quickly hide my glasses in her pocket,I had to manage with just one hearing aid,as taking 2 off and giving them as well as my glasses was too difficult for my maid to hide.
Today my maid has informed me that my mother has given her a packet of cigarettes and matches and I have to learn how to smoke, as it is very fashionable for young ladies to smoke now.. Niver of us knew what to do,so we sat down to watch an American movie. This was the first time I had seen Hidi wearing her glasses. They were obviously very old,and almost useless as she still sat very close to the TV and was screwing her eyes up to see it. The glass lens were chipped and the frame held together with tape.
I reached into my bag for my very old glasses and told Hidi to try them on. As she turned to look at me my heart started to race at the sight of her tiny eyes and shrunken face I reached forward to adjust her hair for her,that’s when I realised that Hidi was wearing my second hearing aid,was that why she said she couldn’t manage to hide 2 I said nothing just pulled her hair back so I could see the thickness of the lens in the glasses she was now wearing and also the hearing aid
I told Hidi, that she had to learn to smoke as well We both got the giggles as we looked it the mirror at ourselves with the cigarettes hanging out of the corner of our mouths like in the movies It looked so easy in the film so we both lit the cigarettes and took a long suck on them just like sucking lemonade through a straw,the nicotine rushed to the back of our throats and down into our lungs, Where it seemed to explode,We both started coughing violently.then the smoke got in our eyes as well and water was pouring down our faces. We both started giggling again,after many more failed attempts,we decided to try again after lunch. When my Mother and her friends had finished their lunch they all lit their cigarettes. I watched as they seemed to suck very slowly on their cigarettes then let the smoke drift out of their mouths before gulping it back in for a few seconds before exhaling it.out. As soon as I got back into my room I called Hidi and explained what to do, the more we practiced the easier it became, we both soon even started to enjoy it
The next day I lit a cigarette as soon as I woke and then 2nd after breakfast and another with my morning coffee that’s when I realised that the stress of my mother seemed to fade away after I had taken a couple of long slow drags on my cigarette I had now learnt how to deep inhale and the extra pleasure it gave me. By the end of the week I was smoking 10 cigarettes a day. Hidi said she enjoyed smoking but 2 a day seemed to satisfy her. By the end of the second week I was now smoking 20 a day and had to send Hidi out to buy more as she said she could not keep taking from my mothers cupboard or she would be in trouble
Today I’m going to meet my future Husband. Well actually he his coming to inspect me.
I have been wearing my glasses all morning and chain smoking since I woke.Hindi gently removes my glasses and takes the 3 empty packets of cigarettes away. Then she had to help me to my seat as my eyes have now got so used to the extra power of my new glasses and without them I can’t even make out any shapes,the reality suddenly hits me,that without those 2 grotesque pieces of thick glass in front of my eyes I’m verturly blind now. I started to feel panicky I was sitting there on my own not only blind but totally deaf as I had given my hearing aid to Hidi to look after,also,my body needed a nicotine fix it was now more than 15 mins since I had a cigarette Suddenly my mind flashes back to what my eye Dr had said about me having the start of cataracts, I knew the only treatment for that was to totally remove the lens in my eyes and have to wear those gastly cataract glasses, Hidi Hurried away to hide as she has now also become dependent on wearing the glasses that I had lent her and will be in trouble if my mother sees her wearing glasses.
I felt his hot smelly breath on my face.what was he thinking, had he realised that he was staring at this deaf and blind girl.i felt the floor moving as he paced up and down for what seemed to continue for ages. Suddenly I felt the warm, sweet smelling breath of Hidi and the heavy weight on my nose as she placed those 2 grotesque pieces of glassi on my face that I now called my spectacles Without thinking I grabbed her,our thick glasses clashed as I frantically started kissing her.. Every night Hidi massages my back and neck,this night was going to be different.
To be continued.
Peter Part 2 will contain the rest of your request