Please make sure you have read “Plain Jane No More” Parts 1 – 5 before reading this.
Jane woke up at 8 o’clock with the spring sunshine trying to burst through her window blinds. She could hear the birds outside singing their hearts out. ‘They’ve got no worries,’ she thought. ‘I wish I was one of them today.’ Her mum and dad had left for work, so she had the house to herself to have a leisurely breakfast, and then get ready to meet Linda for her 10 am hospital appointment. As the scan was going to be for her head, she was allowed to eat breakfast. They had told her that after the scan, there would be an interview about her lifestyle, and then she would be free to go for lunch. She was to return for the results at 3 pm, as it wasn’t their policy to keep patients waiting days for results from scans.
She reached Linda’s house only to find her in a state of panic. “Oh Janey, Janey, I can’t come with you, I’ve had a disaster. One of the lenses fell out of my glasses in the kitchen, and when I was looking for it I stood on it and it’s broken into 3 parts. It’s the right one, and that’s my good eye – well, as good as it gets for me.” “Lindy, you HAVE to come – you promised,” Jane said in a panic. “I can’t. I can’t see. I’m trying to go about here with my right eye closed and it’s impossible.” “Do you not have a spare pair?” “No, I was always going to get around to it when I found ones I liked.” “Lindy, do you still have your old glasses?” “Yes, but they’re too weak.” “Well, I’ve got an idea. Do you still have the patch you wore when you were little?” “Oh no, Janey, that’s long gone.” “Right, desperate measures needed here. We’ll make one. Get some old cloth.” Linda found a piece of thick material in a drawer and Jane cut a patch from it. Then she got a roll of brown parcel tape from the drawer. “Now, take off your broken glasses and shut your eyes.” Jane positioned the patch over Linda’s right eye, and then took 2 pieces of parcel tape she had already cut, and stuck them to both sides of the patch. “There. Now put your glasses back on.” Linda obeyed, opened her eyes, and said, “You’re a genius, Janey. I love you!” And then she kissed her. “No time for that Lindy, we’ve gotta go.”
On the way to the bus stop, Linda told Jane to hang onto her as she couldn’t judge distances and was scared of falling. When they were sitting on the bus, Linda took Jane’s hand in hers, and they clasped fingers tightly together, cuddling into each other.
They arrived at the hospital with 5 minutes to spare, and found the right department. At the reception desk, the girl immediately looked at Linda with the patch and said, “Now, can I help you?” “Oh no, it’s not me,” Linda said, “it’s my friend here.” Jane checked herself in, and they took a seat in the waiting area. “I’ll be here all the time you’re in,” Linda said. “The scan’s to take only 20 minutes the girl said, so I won’t be long. Then we’ve to kill time until 3 o’clock.” “Jane Holden please,” a nurse said as she came into the waiting area. “Good luck, my lovely,” Linda said, while giving Jane a kiss. “This way please,” the nurse said, leading the way. They entered a room and Jane saw a big machine that looked like a giant doughnut. “Hello Jane. I’m Dr Holden. I see we have the same name – that’s a good start!” Dr Holden was a very distinguished looking man with grey hair and a grey beard. “I’m not the radiographer, but I am the head of the Neurological Department at the General Hospital and I just happen to be here today on another matter, so I am personally going to oversee your case as we want this one done quickly. I’ll outline what is going to happen. Nurse Dempster will give you a little injection of contrast medium to help highlight the pictures we’re going to take of your brain. Then you will lie on the board, keeping your arms above your head, as it travels through the scanner taking your picture. Oh – and you don’t need to smile! Now, will you please hand your glasses to Nurse Dempster. Jane did as she was told, and became part of the blurry room. The nurse gave her the injection, and Dr Holden filled out some paperwork while they waited for it to go through her system. “Now, please lie on the board Jane.” She followed the nurse’s instructions, and before she knew it, it was all over. “Thank you Jane, would you please come into my office now and we’ll do the interview now to save time later,” Dr Holden said. “My friend’s outside,” Jane said, alarmed, “she’s expecting me right out.” “I’ll go and tell her you will be half an hour,” the nurse said.
Jane decided she was going to be totally honest in the interview. “Sit down please, Jane,” Dr Holden said, while sitting down at his desk. He went through the standard questions about her health history and her family’s. “Have you ever had any neurological problems? Head pains? Depression? Dizziness?” “No” “Do you smoke?” “No” “Have you ever smoked?” “Yes, I’ve tried it at school, but I didn’t like it.” “How long have you worn glasses?” “Since I was 14.” “What made you feel you needed glasses?” Now she was going to have to bend the truth. “I felt I was having trouble reading.” “And how big a difference did they make?” “Oh, a huge difference. I guess I should have had them long before then.” “Are you troubled by sunlight?” “Yes, funny you should ask. I HATE sunlight. I have large wrap-around sunglasses I can wear over my glasses. I’ve worn sunglasses since I was little.” Then, without any warning, Dr Holden clapped his hands together loudly right in front of Jane’s nose with a loud crack. Jane never even flinched. Not a blink. Then he apologised. “I’m terribly sorry – I had to do that, it’s part of the interview. I wanted to see your reaction. Now I’m going to do it again, and you’ll know it’s coming.” CLAP! Still no reaction. “Now Jane, would you please sit up on the examination table, and dangle your legs over the edge? We’re going to do some reflex tests.” She sat up, and he took out a little hammer and did all the reflex tests on her knees and ankles. “Hmmm….. very interesting,” he said, to no one in particular. Then he repeated the tests. “This is incredible,” he said, “you have no reflexes at all.” “Is that bad?” Jane asked. “No, not especially, in fact it might be a very good sign.” Then he came up to her and looked into each of her eyes with a penlight. The bright light dazzled Jane and it hurt. “Ow!” she shouted. “Is that uncomfortable?” Dr Holden asked. “Yes, very,” Jane replied. “OK, I’m sorry, but I had to do that. You have no reflexes at all in your iris sphincter muscles which control the aperture of the iris depending on the intensity of light. Also your ciliary muscles aren’t working either. These are the ones that alter the shape of your lenses to accommodate for close vision. In fact, none of your reflex system is working. Incredible!” Jane got noticeably agitated and Dr Holden calmed her down. “Don’t worry Jane, this may not be as bad as it looks. Let’s just wait for the scan results. You can go now, thank you, and I’ll see you at 3 pm.”
Jane went out to meet Linda in the waiting area, and they both left the building. They went to a little Mexican bistro for lunch, and then Jane said, “I’ve got a surprise for you.” “What?” “Come with me.” Jane led the way to a jeweller’s shop in the High Street which specialised in Celtic jewellery. “Do you like that?” she asked, pointing to a silver Celtic knotwork ring in the window. “It’s beautiful,” Linda said. “Let’s go in then.” The lady in the shop took the ring from the window to show them. She explained it was a St Ninian’s Isle ring, and she continued, “This ring incorporates the never-ending line of Celtic knotwork - the “line of life”. This particular design is part of a collection from the St Ninian’s Isle Treasure - a horde of Celtic silver jewellery, Church silver, and other items found in St Ninians Isle, Shetland in 1958.” “It’s just simply beautiful,” Linda said, trying very hard to see it properly with her one weak eye. She removed her glasses and held it up about 2 inches from her eye and screwed her face up to see. The shop lady was fascinated by this action. “Are you partially sighted?” she asked. “Today I am,” Linda replied. Then to Jane she asked, “Why are we looking at this?” “You do like it?” “Yes, I love it.” “Well, it’s yours. In fact, they are ours. I’m getting two. One for you and one for me – it’s a pledge of our never-ending love for each other like the never-ending Celtic Knot.” This completely floored Linda. Her heart leapt, she looked at Jane, took her in her arms and kissed her. Jane noticed she was crying, and the tears were escaping under the makeshift patch and running down her cheeks. The shop lady waited patiently, intrigued by the episode. “You’re going to start me crying in a minute!” she said. “Sorry”, said Jane, “we’ll take two.” “I’ll check I have your sizes.” She brought a few rings out and they tried them on. At the second attempt they found the perfect fit for both of them. Jane settled up with the lady, and then slipped the ring onto Linda’s third finger left hand. Then Linda did the same to Jane. “Together forever,” she said, smiling through the tears. “Forever together,” Jane responded. “This is simply beautiful,” the shop lady added. “Thank you for making my day!”
They left the shop and returned to the hospital. This was the moment of decision. “You won’t cry at my funeral, will you?” Jane asked. “Shut up!” Linda burst out. “Don’t say these things, stupid girl! Oh no, I didn’t mean that….. I meant stupid, lovely, gorgeous, beautiful, wonderful girl! My girl. My very own girl. My very own Janey.”
“Miss Holden, please come through. Dr Holden will see you now.” Jane was shaking. Linda was shaking and forcing back the tears. She squeezed Jane’s hand and Jane went in. “Jane, come in, please sit down. Well Jane, we have the result of your scan and I’m afraid to tell you that we have some bad news, and some good news.” ‘Oh God,’ Jane thought, ‘they’ve found a tumour but they can operate, but they might not get it all, it might be too late, it might have spread, I might only have a few months left, oh my God, oh my God.” And then she said out loud, “OH MY GOD!” and burst into tears. “No, no, Jane, Jane, please listen….. please?” Dr Holden said frantically. “The scan was negative. Normal. No problems. Clear. Do you understand? That’s the good news. Jane was sobbing uncontrollably now, “C-c-c-clear? N-n-n-no tumour?” “That’s right Jane, no tumour.” “What’s the bad news then?” “Have you heard of Adie’s Syndrome? We are almost absolutely certain that’s what you have.” “No, I’ve never heard of it. Is it bad?” “Adie’s Syndrome is a rare neurological disorder affecting the pupil of the eye. In most patients the pupil is dilated, larger than normal, and slow to react to light on nearby objects. In some patients, however, the pupil may be constricted (smaller than normal) instead of dilated. Yours are dilated and unable to constrict to light. Also the ciliary muscles are unable to react to close images and the eyes can’t accommodate, exactly like yours. You are already compensating with your glasses. Absent or poor reflexes are also associated with this disorder, and we have already proved yours are absent. Adie’s Syndrome is neither progressive, nor life threatening, nor is it disabling. In advanced cases, the eye’s lenses can constrict even further than their natural dormant state and induce further hyperopia to the patient due to the absence of regular flexing of them by the ciliary muscles.” “You mean I might need stronger glasses?” “It is a possibility, I’m afraid, if your eyes do reach that state. Let’s hope they don’t.” Jane couldn’t stop her mind running riot. ‘Let’s hope they do,’ she thought! “Thank you. Thank you so much,” she said, and got up and hugged Dr Holden. “And what’s wrong with your friend outside?” he asked. “It’s a long story,” Jane replied. “Goodbye, doctor.”
Jane came out to the waiting area, and Linda looked up at her expectantly, squinting with one eye. “Well?” Jane was very solemn-faced and came up to Linda. Linda yelled, “Oh no!” and started to cry. She grabbed Jane and hugged her almost to death. “No, no, no, no,” she sobbed. Then Jane whispered in her ear, “I’m clear.” “What? WHAT?” “I’m clear. No tumour, no problem, nothing. Well, there is a slight problem – I’ll tell you on the way home, but it might be a good problem. I might need stronger glasses.” “Oh Janey, Janey, I thought you were going to tell me you were going to die. You bad girl! You bad, lovely, scrumptious, sexy, fabulous, fantastic girl!” “And you are just as bad, lovely, scrumptious, sexy, fabulous and fantastic, so do you know what we’re going to do?” “What?” “We’re getting the bus home. We’re going up to your room. We’re getting undressed. Then I’m going to ravish you like there’s no tomorrow. I’ve been given a second chance, and by God, I’m not gonna waste it!” “What about my glasses Janey, I can hardly see?” “You won’t need your glasses for what we’re gonna do! We’ll sort out the glasses tomorrow. Right now, let’s live!”
The End.
The Rings
https://vision-and-spex.com/plain-jane-no-more-part-6-diagnosis-t564.html