I was just coasting along on my bicycle, keeping pace with traffic while waiting for my phone to ring with instructions for my next door-dash delivery order when I saw a shimmering of light on the sidewalk across the street from me. Now, the average person would not have realized what the shimmering was, but since I had failed to complete my time at Wizards and Wands, the school for Wizards and Witches that I had attended until I flunked out 5 years ago, I was left with a limited ability to see into the world of magic, and I had to focus all of my senses on the shimmering object in order to see what was happening. As I focused a witch clearly came into focus, and I could tell that she was pulling a young boy, who appeared to have chased a ball into the busy street, away from the front of a large van. There was something out of place here. Witches were really not supposed to do good deeds. That was considered to be the job of Wizards. But recently the world of the occult had been turned upside down. I wasn’t the only youngster to flunk out of Wizards and Wands, and enrollment had been dropping so rapidly there was even some talk about closing the school, which was the last one still in existence. I had heard rumors that what would eventually happen would be that they would amalgamate with Goblin College, and the new school would be Witches, Wizards and Goblins Academy. But no matter, I was finished. I could see no future in going back, and neither did any of the other students that had also dropped out. There was no longer any money out there in being a Wizard, a Witch, or for that matter a Goblin - except maybe in the world of video gaming. But to get back to the other side of the street. I pulled a U turn on my bike and rode back to where a very pretty blond-haired witch was standing muttering “Oh No, Oh No”. I looked at her and noticed that she was one of the first witches I had ever seen that wore glasses. And as I looked at her glasses, I noticed that they were pretty darned thick. As I continued to stare at her they got even thicker, and 2 small circles appeared in the center of the lenses directly in front of her pupils. I didn’t know what had happened, but I knew something had occurred to make her eyesight suddenly become bad enough to require these extremely strong lenses to appear. “That was a very brave thing you did to save that young boy’s life. Why are you crying?” I asked. “You can see me?” She queried. “Yes, I can see you very clearly now. My father was a wizard and I inherited some of his abilities. I went to school to become a wizard, but I ended up flunking out about 5 years ago because my grades were at the bottom of the cauldron.” I replied. “Well, I knew you had to be special, because no Ordinary would have been able to see me. The reason I am crying is because I saved that boy’s life, I am now very close to being kicked out of the Witches association, and I will then become an Ordinary myself.” She told me. “You would be kicked out because you saved a young child’s life?” I queried. “I don’t know about Wizards, but with Witches we are only allowed to do a good deed with no consequences if we then do a really good Nasty. I have done too many good deeds, and until I do enough Nasties, I am at high risk of being turfed. And if I am turfed my worst fear will be realized and I will end up with really shitty eyesight while I live out the rest of my life as an ordinary.” She replied. “I noticed when I first came up to you that your glasses seemed to be getting stronger and stronger as I watched. Was that your punishment?” I asked. “Yes. We are punished with our greatest fear. My father was an Ordinary and he married my mom, who was the witch in the family. My dad was naturally extremely nearsighted, and he needed very strong glasses, which didn’t really even allow him to see very well. My greatest fear was that I would also become severely nearsighted, so my fear became my punishment.” She answered. We exchanged names and I found out my very nearsighted witch was named Mila. I introduced myself as Joel and I made sure that I told her that I thought she was very attractive looking wearing the strong glasses she now needed to see anything. In our conversation I discovered that when she was younger, she did not need glasses and in fact had perfect eyesight. But when Mila was 12, she began her training as a witch, and that is when her punishment for doing good deeds was explained to her. Apparently the first act of kindness she performed gave her a prescription of -1D, and from then until she was around 16 her prescription had bounced around between -3 and -6D. She explained that she never seemed to be able to do enough of what the coven considered Nasties to lower her prescription very much. Something like giving an Ordinary male a really great wedgie on the subway would reduce her prescription by no more than -1D , but you can only give so many wedgies in a day, and one simple act of kindness could undo all her hard work as she earned -2D for the kind act and only lost -1D for every Nasty. Exploding all the balloons at a kid’s birthday party all at once was always fun, but then one day when her prescription was right at -6D she saved a young girl from drowning in her parent’s backyard pool at the girl’s 7th birthday party. Apparently, the sheer number of exploding balloons had scared the girl enough to make her fall into the pool. That earned her a doubling of her prescription because by saving the child she had apparently changed the course of history, as the young girl was supposed to have died from drowning. Her prescription doubled from -6D all the way up to -12D for that kindness. For a few years she managed to bounce between -11D and -15D, and while she didn’t really like wearing glasses, she felt she was better off than her girlfriend, who was also a very beautiful young witch. All witches have a wart on the end of their nose and Mila’s girlfriend was extremely pretty, but she worried constantly that doing a good deed would increase the number of warts on her face. One wart was good – a dozen warts was bad. So, a couple of times when the two of them were out among the ordinaries Mila had to help a couple of old geezers pick themselves up when they tripped and fell because her girlfriend was afraid of getting a new wart or two for doing good deeds. One time she had to save an old lady from getting stuck in traffic in the middle of the street when the light changed, and the old lady couldn’t get to the other side. Mila’s girlfriend wasn’t willing to risk any more warts growing on her face, but Mila couldn’t stand to see people in distress, so her kind heart had caused her glasses prescription to be right at -14D when she saved the young boy from being killed. I asked her if that meant that her prescription had now doubled to -28D, and she told me she thought that it might have reached that high. She said that she didn’t notice much difference from what it had been, because she really couldn’t see much of anything without her glasses anyway. I pushed my bike as I walked along talking to her. She was as cute as any Ordinary 23-year-old girl could be and she seemed to have a great figure, although I couldn’t see what her legs looked like as she was wearing a rather long and full-bodied black skirt typical to all witches that hid her legs. She was carrying her broom, which looked to be a fairly new Flyover 1600 with all the options. If I hadn’t been pushing my bike, I would have taken her other hand in mine while we were walking. And just maybe if I had been holding on to her hand, I might have been able to prevent what happened next. Mila exclaimed “Oh No.” and she pulled away from me. A man was up on a ladder painting a storefront and a black cat was about to walk under the ladder when Mila shooed it out around the ladder. All of a sudden, the wart at the end of her nose disappeared. Her long black skirt vanished, and she was wearing a very tight pair of blue jean shorts that fit her butt tighter than OJ Simpson’s glove fit his hand. And she no longer had her Flyover 1600 in her hand. I had a sickening feeling that just maybe Mila had lost her status as a witch, and when I looked at her glasses, they appeared to be even stronger than they had looked a minute or two earlier. The tears were again streaming down her face, pooling against the thick lenses of her glasses where they rested tight to her cheek and then overflowing up against the lenses and running down her cheeks. I held her tightly and hugged her. “Did what I think just happened happen?” I asked. “My status as a witch is gone. I am now an Ordinary.” Mila said tearfully. “You must have known that would happen as soon as you diverted that black cat from crossing under the ladder.: I replied. “I couldn’t think of anything other than that painter would fall off that ladder and possibly injure himself very badly or else die if that black cat continued on its path. And even if he didn’t fall, he would have had 7 years of bad luck. He is the sole support of his wife and 3 daughters and if he had died, they would have been left destitute.” Mila answered. “I thought that 7 years of bad luck was only if you broke a mirror.” I said. “Sometimes I forget what the punishments are. I think the black cat also brings 7 years of bad luck, but maybe not.” Whatever it is I am no longer a witch and will have to live the rest of my life as an Ordinary wearing very thick glasses. My mom will be extremely upset. But at least my little sister will get my new Flyover 1600. She will be very happy. Now all I have to worry about is where a seriously nearsighted 23-year-old young lady with roughly a -30D prescription, no references and absolutely no experience can go to get a job to earn enough money to put a roof over her head.” Mila told me. “You can come and live with me. With your wart gone from the end of your nose you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. And you have proven to me that you have a very kind and caring heart. We will get married and have lots and lots of children to keep you busy.” I replied. “That means that even though my greatest fear has come true, and I am forever severely nearsighted and have to wear thick glasses, I have found true love.” Mila answered. Specs4ever July 2020