I like to think my wife still turns heads at 37. She got her first pair of glasses for farsightedness at 14 and first bifocals at 17. When I met her at 23, she was wearing her first progressives and went full-time not long after in large part because of her astigmatism correction changing. For almost 10 years now she has worn trifocals, first in addition to her progressives but exclusively for at least probably 6 years. The last couple years she’s had a pair of round clear glasses with FT-35, her prescription has been pretty stable of about +2.50, -1.50 with a +2.50 add. It was with some support from me that she was able to get over her anxiety of wearing the trifocals in public, because she definitely liked the vision better than progressives. And she’s always known I’ve preferred her wearing glasses. It has even become a thing; I purposely stand close enough that she will look at me through her intermediate segments instead of the tops. About 6 months ago we were meeting after work at a neighborhood bar for a couple drinks on our Friday night. Afterwards we went home and were sitting on the deck, with some music on. She was wearing a sun dress and decided to paint her finger and toenails and between the drinks and possibly her slightly teasing the exaggeration of tilting her head to look through the mid and near range zones while getting the paint on the brush to her long nails it was all I could do to wait for the polish to try before crazy. Somewhere between the deck and the bedroom, we did have a stop-over on the couch, her glasses came off. We were in bed, and I could hear something faintly beeping. I said what is that not even having a guess. She immediately kind of tensed up and said it’s my hearing aid battery warning. Then asked me, “You can hear that?!” This had always been a delicate subject; she works for 911 and was required as a 20-year-old when she got hired to get a hearing aid for work. She only needs one, it was from a benign tumor she had removed in her ear as a kid that damaged the ear drum. And really, she always functioned well without, although I’ve always known to talk to her good side if it is in a loud place. Until that very moment, I don’t know that she ever wore it away from work and had told very few people about it. I, trying to keep it cool, just said oh do you have more batteries and she said they were in her purse. Before giving her a chance to really think, I got up to go get her purse. She started telling me as I went down the hall: “I decided to wear it tonight because it’s always loud in Mingles and thought I would give it a try.” I agreed with her that it was indeed loud in Mingles and asked if it helped to which she said a lot. When I got back, without thinking, I hand her the batteries and got back into the bed. The main light wasn’t on and along with not having her glasses she was having a hard time seeing which way the battery was and was trying to feel for the positive side. I took it and worked the battery in. As I was doing this, she said something about not very sexy or a real “mood kill” having to change my wife’s hearing aid battery because she can’t see it without her glasses. I told her it was my fault I should have brought her glasses and just kind of shied off the comment. A couple things were running through my head, I knew that she did want to be wearing her hearing aid, that she was very self-conscious about it, and I had remembered kind of the same emotions when she was transitioning to full-time glasses wear and then lined trifocals. We often work different shifts and not always the exact days off or sleep schedules, but when we do there is kind of a ritual where I tuck her in and take her glasses off at the end of the night, so I decided I would just put this back in her ear with the new battery. I reached up to do so and she kind of helped me guide it in, as I had never even held a hearing aid before this. It’s an “in the canal” so it is visible from the side. As I did, she said thank you, and I leaned in and whispered “you’re welcome beautiful” to which she kind of a squirmed and noticeably released some tension. She replied in a sexy voice, I can hear you whispering nice things about me what should we do about this? And with that we had some more intimate time before bed. Nothing else was said about it and the next morning, we got up and got ready to go get some groceries and something to eat on our day off. She had her hair pulled back and I noticed when we left that she had put in her hearing aid. This was really a surprise, because she never would have done this before. It really was a unique look, the trifocals and hearing aid, on someone relatively young to be wearing either. I had never really had a thing for hearing aids before we were together, but I’ve always thought it looked good on her and is probably a similar fetish to glasses. Fortunately, at neither the grocery store nor the restaurant did anyone comment on her wearing it and I didn’t either. We went about our day as normal and back at home she left it on for a few hours but had taken it off before bed. That following day, she had her hair down and we went on a bike ride with some friends. I didn’t know if she was wearing it or even fully think about it until the evening when she was laying on me on a recliner while we were watching tv and there was some feedback from it. She reached up to adjust her ear and I very casually commented that I wondered if she was wearing it. She said she was, and I said good. She asked me what I thought about her wearing it all the time now, and I told her if it helped it made sense. She said it did and that she probably always should have worn it but was nervous about looking different. That it was my supportive and “no big deal” response to her dead battery the other night and that when I whispered to her it sounded sexy through the aid but that if I had whispered on that side before she wouldn’t have heard it and missed out on the compliment. In my mind I was thinking bingo, I played this appropriate. She then mentioned that she would kind of ease into it and might wear her hair up or down depending on who/what/where she was, I told her I understood, and I wouldn’t ever bring it up in conversation. Still somewhat apprehensive she was quick to point out that her hearing was still good on the other side and hadn’t changed on her bad side. I again reassured her it was okay. From that night forward, along with her glasses, I now take her aid out if she’s still got it in by bedtime. There have been a couple times that I know of where it does come up when someone asks what is in her ear or makes a light remark about her needing trifocal glasses and hearing aids but for the most part no big deal. About a month later we were going to a house party at one of her work colleagues. It was a drinking party, and we were planning to stay overnight. She wore her hair pulled up and back and some tight jeans, really looking good. The host “Sally” is 40, my age, and I’ve known her for ~14 years. She is a fairly attractive blonde. For most of those years I didn’t know she wore contacts but in the last few years she has worn not only reading glasses, but I had noticed a couple occasions where she’s had on an older pair of moderate nearsighted glasses, I’d estimate to be about -4. When she wears those glasses, she slides them down her noise to look at print at times, and clearly needs bifocals. Getting to the party, I noticed right away Sally was wearing her glasses. The 6 of us there are really close, and at one point we were going to play a game where the questions come up on the tv, but you answer on your phone, and everyone plays against each other. She pulled out a pair of larger men’s glasses with a weak prescription of about -1 and put them on over her glasses. She explained that this was what she did to see the tv when she was wearing her glasses because the older prescription is good for reading and up close but not so good for distance anymore. And that these were her husband’s old glasses. Not very long into the game Sally mentioned that she couldn’t see her phone as well through both lenses and at one point had her main pair of -4 on, with her husband’s -1 over the top and at the bottom of her noise she had her reading glasses that she uses with her contacts. It made for a good laugh and couple pictures, all in fun, but wasn’t very practical. She kind of laughed and said this is silly, I think I need to put my contacts in so I can just wear my readers when my wife said you know you should just get bifocals and call it a go. This made Sally remember that their 14-year-old son and her have the same contact prescription and that he actually has glasses with bifocals to try to curb his myopia progression. She came back wearing some basic plastic black frames with an obvious bifocal in the lenses. Sally looked around and used them the rest of the game, she did comment that she didn’t think the bifocal was as strong as her reading glasses but still worked. They looked good on her. She left them on the rest of the night and later was over to my wife and I and mentioned that she liked the bifocals and was thinking she’d get a pair and that her and my wife would glasses twins. Sally then told me that she was the one who had encouraged my wife to wear hearing aid that night and was proud of her for wearing it all the time. We all agreed it was a good thing. It’s interesting the conversations and friendships that happen in your late 30’s or early 40’s compared to your 20’s, even if it is the same people. I saw Sally at work the next week, as I sometimes work in their building, and she was still wearing her son’s bifocals. The lenses were thicker than her old pair of -4, I suspected these to be about -5 and lower index but they really did look great on Sally. She mentioned that her eyes have not been as tired as with her contacts and that we made a permanent glasses girl out of her. Not everyone was as supportive about glasses or hearing aid. Not long after the night at Sally’s we drove about an hour to my wife’s hometown to stay over at her middle sister’s house, Karen. The youngest sister Nik was also coming into town. My wife and Karen got glasses on the same day, but Karen has never wanted to wear hers even though her prescription is probably the strongest at about +4/+5 range. Nik didn’t get glasses until college, and her first pair was progressives. She is also mildly farsighted with some astigmatism. My wife was wearing her hair up and her aid clearly visible. We were all sitting at the table and Karen mentions to Nik why are you wearing bifocals, I thought you got the kind without a line. To which Nik replies, I ordered this pair online and they wouldn’t do progressive, Karen says well you should have just got them without. Slightly exasperated, she says no that extra +1.50 makes a big deal and I like the frames. I’ve had them months and you are the first person to literally comment. And that made Karen say well old Mrs. Trifocals here is rubbing off on you referring to my wife. Somehow Nik ended up trying on the trifocals and commenting that she liked the big reading and intermediate areas and bet they were good on the computer, but they were not her prescription. She did take a selfie and said she liked these frames. It was all good, Karen refused to put them on citing that those two had astigmatism and she couldn’t see through their lenses. Which is probably true. I tried on the Nik’s glasses because I know at 40 my days are numbered, but so far I am still reading 20/20 up close and my distance is even better so they didn’t work real well for me. Karen got up to use the bathroom and Nik leaned in and said you are brave wearing that hearing aid here she’ll eat you alive if she sees it! Then they joked, that’s just the thing she probably can’t see it from across the table and only noticed Nik’s bifocals when they hugged. Finally, about an hour later Karen noticed the hearing aid and asked why she was wearing it, to which she kind of flippantly replied so I can better hear you tease us. Nik piped in “yeah, I don’t know why you’d want to hear that, you are lucky you can turn it off and drown her out.” That did the trick and shut her down. Nik, ever the adventurous one, asked to try it on. For the next 15 minutes or so both Nik and I tried the hearing aid, and I was careful not to say anything negative. It really wasn’t super loud/amplified and both of us agreed. I was glad she didn’t blurt out “oh my god you’re deaf” or something equally insensitive. Of course, Karen didn’t want to try it on. Throughout the entire trip Karen never wore her glasses but struggled clearly to see her phone even though we noticed it was quite zoomed in. It’s been an interesting few months, and all because I was aware enough not to make a big deal about it. When I met my wife, I would have never guessed I’d be so lucky that she would be wearing trifocals for me by 30, and the hearing aid is just a bonus. Best of all, she gets to see and hear good and feel confident and sexy doing it.
https://vision-and-spex.com/it-just-takes-a-little-support-and-encouragement-t2398.html