WhenI was a year old One of my presents for my birthday was my first pair of glasses
The day before my second birthday I went to collect my new glasses, The Doctor stuck this pink patch over my right eye,when I looked in the mirror I remember I started to cry,the left eye looked so big and lens seem to bulge out in the middle and the right lens was black”
The Doctor explained to my mother that the patch was to be worn all the time even when I was asleep,and Incase I took the patch off the right lens was blacked. He also said that Mother had to turn the light off and I had to close my eyes when my eye patch was changed
So for a whole year I had my right eye covered.
When I went for my next annual eye test after wearing the eye patch the Doctor turned the light off and put drops in both eyes then replaced the patch.
30 mins later the Doctor turned the light off again and took the patch off and put the test glasses on I don’t know what the result were,but the patch was quickly put back on
2 Weeks later we returned to collect my new Glasses. The left lens seemed to bulge out even more and my left eye looked even bigger.and there was that dreadful black lens again.
The same routine happened each year,my parents were very strict so I never dared to ask why I had to wear the eye patch and mother always had to use warm water to remove my eye patch and she kept the box with the patches locked in the medicine cupboard.
At school I was called the pirate girl or the one eyed girl.
Just after my 11th birthday I started a new school that’s when I started to get lots of headaches after doing my homework.
After my test the Doctor said I was Hyperopic (Very long sighted ) and he wanted to talk to my mother so I was sent out and told to choose a new frame and with a bigger lens size.
10 Days later we returned to collect my new glasses,when the lady fitted them on me she said it would take me a few days to get used to wearing a bifocal lens.
I did not know what bifocals were until I looked in the mirror and could see this line going all the way across the lens, it looked as if the lens was cracked,then I noticed the bottom of the lens bulged out EVEN more from the frame than my previous glasses,my heart sank.they seemed to dominate my face the black lens,now covered so much of my face,
The lady explained that they were executive bifocals and I had to look through the bottom of the lens to read that’s why I had to choose larger frames
It took me nearly a month to get used to them. At first I kept falling down the staircase, also I had to keep moving my head up and down to find out wich part of the lens I needed to look though.
At school everybody called out “O look here comes the nodding donkey haha,Anne has broken her glasses hahahahaha ”
Each year I had less and lens friends as my left lens got thicker and thicker.
Just before my 13th birthday my mother suddenly died. I didn’t know what to think as I was not very close to my mother,in fact she was a BULLY .and my father never spoke much.
My aunty seemed to take charge, even making my father give her his wages, Every year just before my birthday I reminded her that my eye test was due. But she said the same thing each time “There is not enough money you have to make do with the glasses you have”
Every 2 weeks she came to change my eye patch.
On my 16th Birthday she told me I had to leave school and look after my Father. I didn’t mind as school work was getting harder. I was finding it more and more difficult to see and reading was now a struggle.and still she would not buy me new glasses.
On the morning of my 18th birthday my grandmother rang me and arrange to take me out for lunch and she had something for me
She was shocked when she saw the state of my glasses.
They were the same glasses that I had for my 11th birthday.They we’re now much too small for my Adult face, the bifocal line was now in the wrong place for me, so everything kept going in and out of focus,Both arms were held on by a sellotape and where they had broken on the bridge, I had tried to glue them together. I looked such a mess.
After lunch we sat in the restaurant’s rose garden,and drank coffee.
“I have a suprise for you dear”
“Your grandfather was always ashamed how our daughter treated you, so in his will he made provisions for you,this was to be kept secret from your mother and you until you were 18”
“O Grandma what do you mean”
“Do you remember the holiday cottage that you used to come and visit use when you were little”
“O yes I loved it, but Mother suddenly said we could not go there anymore”
“Well this is the key to it” “It’s yours now, and this is the details of the bank account that your grandfather opened for you”
“You mean I can go and live there on my own and do what I want to”
“Yes I have arranged for it to be cleaned and redecorated for you ,we could go there tomorrow and meet the decorators.
but first I think you should go and get new glasses,I’m sure you can’t see in those old things”
This was going to be the first time I had gone to have my eyes tested on my own.
The lady at the opticians was pleased to see me,and explained that the doctor had retired ,but they had a new young doctor that if I waited he would see me.
He seemed very pleasant after he had read my notes and turned to me.
“I see from your notes you have worn the eye patch ever since you were 2 years old and have not been for an eye test for 7 year.
“Are these the same glasses you had when you were 10”
“Yes doctor,I really can’t see very well now and I was never told why I had to wear this patch also I have never seen myself without it”
“Well you were born prematurely and that eye never developed fully, so you have no sight in that eye”
“The eye patch was for cosmetic reasons
“What do you mean doctor”
Because your eye did not fully developed you have no pupil in that eye
“Let me check everything then we can talk about it more”
The doctor spent a long time examining the health of both my eyes and then testing the vision in my left eye.
“I expect you realise there has been a big change in your eyesight it’s over 7 years since you had you last exam”
I explained why I had not been and that’s why my glasses were so broken.
“Can I see what my eye looks like doctor,I have never seen it”
“We will make you a temporary pair of glasses for today,and before we put the right lens in you can see what your right eye looks like, “We will just make a single distance vision pair for today,so I’m afraid you won’t be able to see to read”
“I suggest we go across the road and have a coffee,then we can discuss what is best for you”
“Can you put a new eye patch on for me doctor I have never done it myself”
“We can talk about that later but for now you can leave it off”
It seemed so strange not wearing the patch,I could not see the black lens In front of my right eye,that was when I suddenly realised I was completely blind in that eye.
When we got back the temporary glasses were ready they only had this one very thick lens in for my left eye,
“We have not fitted a lens in for your right eye yet so if you want to see it now you can”
“OOO it’s so ugly,it’s not an eye it’s just like jelly and it’s all bloodshot it’s grotesque ”
Can you put a patch over it please, I feel sick”
The Doctor took my glasses off and fitted a new patch then gave me a drink and calmed me.
15 minutes later the assistant returned with my glasses.
“We have put an opac lens for your right eye.I think that looks better than a black lens”
When I looked in the mirror I had mixed feelings.i now realised that I was never going to see out of my right eye, and the lens for my left eye was so much thicker and very heavy than before, also it made my eye look Hugh,But I was pleasantly surprised that the black lens had gone and the opac looked much better. I tried to ring my grandmother to tell her to collect me but I could not read even the large font on my phone, the doctor’s assistant rang her for me.
I stayed with my grandmother that night , the next morning we went to my new home, the cleaners were just leaving as we arrived,
I spent the next 3 days choosing the colours that I wanted,and enjoying moving things around, it was wonderful doing what I wanted to for the first time in my life”
I decided I needed to go shopping for food,I was very nervous about this as I did not know the shops also it was going to be difficult seeing the prices of food ,as my bifocals had not arrived yet.
At the store I was so upset not being able to read the prices,I had found a magnifying glass in one of the drawers at the cottage,I looked around there did not seem to be anybody close so I shyly got it out from my bag,It was a help.but still difficult to see the small print on the labels
Also it was very embarrassing,who had ever seen a 18 year old girl with only one eye using a magnifying glass.
Suddenly a voice said.
“Hello how are you? I notice you had moved into your Auntys Cottage”
As I turned I forgot I still had the magnifying glass up to my left eye,I went bright red and dropped it .
The gentleman bent down and picked it up,as he handed me the magnifying glass I then released it was the eye doctor.
“Can I help you with your shopping, I know it must be hard for you to read the labels, it’s very good that you have a magnifying glass”
As we walked around the store he helped me find what I needed and Insisted I used the magnifying glass to check it was what I wanted.
Strangely I did not feel uncomfortable using it when he was with me.
“Would you like to join me for lunch in the restaurant opposite”
“Then I can drop you and your shopping off at the cottage on my way home,my house is just a little way further down the lane”
When the waitress brought the menu I could feel myself going read as I couldn’t see anything on it.
He pointed to my bag and then to my eye.
I realised he meant me to use my magnifying glass.
As I lifted it toward my eye he gave me a reassuring smile.
When we had finished our lunch he drove me home and carried my shopping to the door.
I did not know what to do, should I invite him in for coffee or just say thank you.
But Before I had time to say anything
“I must go now but would you like to come to my house for a meal tonight would about 7 pm suit,my lady that cooks for me likes to be away by about 8pm”
I just went scarlet and felt itchy all over,and stammered “yes please”
“That’s good I will come and pick you up about 6 30’ it’s not far to walk”
I unpacked all the food,then I started to panic, what should I wear,all my cloths were so old and I had nothing special to go out in.what would we talk about, Should I take my magnifying glass with me.He did not seem to mind me using it at the store,and it did help
THE DOORBELL RANG
I started to shake,had I made a mistake saying yes to going to his house alone, I had never been with a man on my own,would I be safe,why did he invite me,all negative thoughts were rushing around inside my head.
When I opened the door he greeted me with a kind smile and handed me a large bunch of flowers.
“You look very pretty I will wait here while you put the flowers in water”
It was Autumn now and the evening had started to get dark earlier.I was not used to being out in the dusk,I was not finding it easy to see the foot holes. The doctor could see me struggling,and he offered me his hand to hold.
It was a strange feeling. The only time I had ever held a man’s hand was my grandfather’s when I was about 6 years old.
The house was beautiful, my nerves were getting the better of me and I had to ask to go to the bathroom before we sat down to eat.
There was a beautiful wood burner in the lounge so we sat down and warmed ourselfs.
A lady knocked on the door and said the meal was ready and she had laid the table in the small dining room as she thought it would be more cosy.
“I Suggest you take your magnifying glass with you,there is a fish course, and stop calling me Doctor my name is Matthew.
We sat at the table and the lady poured us a glass of wine. I was very embarrassed as I had never drunk wine before,but didn’t like to refuse it..
Mathew raised he glass and said “This is to you I hope you will be happy in your new home,if you need any help you know we’re I am”
The wine tasted lovely
When the fish course arrived Mathew smiled,
“Don’t be shy use your magnifying glass, In Case there are any bones”
We had a wonderful meal,Marhew saw me keep looking at the photo on the wall of a beautiful lady.
“If you are wondering who the lady is,She was my wife but sadly she died 5 years ago.
I could feel tears starting to fill my eyes.
Mathew got up and picked up a tissue and carefully removed my glasses and dried my left eye,then gently removed my eye patch and wiped the tears away from my deformed right eye.
As he put my glasses on I was surprised he did not replace my patch over my right eye.
“Please don’t get upset Anne,it’s ok”
“I’m slowly getting over it, that is part of the reason I moved here”
He held me by the hand as we walked into the drawing room,there was a lovely open log fire burning.We sat down on the sheepskin rug he poured me another drink,then turn on the sound system
I was starting feel sleepy when I heard a knock on the door and a voice saying,”You rang sir is everything alright”
“Can you help help Anne upto the spare room I think there are some night cloths in the wardrobe,I’m sorry to disturb your evening but it’s very late to drive Anny home,also I have had a little too much to drink”
The next morning I thought I heard a little knock on the door and Mathews voice saying “Is ok to come in”
I could not find my eye patch or my glasses so I put my hand over my blind eye and told him to come in.
He had brought me a beautiful silver tray with a cup of tea and a crouson and put the tray on my lap.
As I held it with my left hand he gently took hold of my right hand away from my eye and guided it to the cup.
Even though I had a night dress on I felt TOTALLY naked without my deformed eye being covered.,he handed me a small magnifying glass on a cord,as I put it to my left eye ,I could see his kind face looking at me”
“Hope you slept well,Mrs Croft helped you to bed last night and slept in the next room to make sure you were safe”
“Thank you for a wonderful evening I’m sorry I’ve never drunk wine before,I think I fell asleep in the lounge”
“Yes I’m afraid you tried to stand up to go to the bathroom that’s when you fell and broke your new glasses”
I started to have a panic attack and was shaking. How was I going to manage without my glasses and how could I cover my deformed eye.
Mathew held me tight in his arms and cuddled me until I stopped shaking. I had never felt such kindness before.
“I have put one of my sister dresses and some clean underwear on the end of the Bed for you,this is her room when she comes to stay”
“Call me when you are ready and I will help you down the stairs”
It was difficult to see anything without my glasses,but I could tell the dress was beautiful.
I called Mathew and he helped me down the stairs.
“It’s a beautiful morning,so I thought we would have coffee outside if that’s ok with you” “You look very pretty the dress suits you”
“Thank you Mathew but I’m sure I can’t look pretty with my deformed eye, can I have a eye patch for it please”
“I think it’s better to leave it uncovered Anna the infection will heal quicker.I have asked my technician to come in this morning to make you another pair of glasses for you, then if you would like to go shopping we could”
“That’s so kind of you Mathew,that would be lovely I’m rather nervous to go out on my own,and there are some things I need”
“I’m sure there is some of my sister makeup In the bedside draw shall I get it for you”
“That’s very kind of your Mathew,but I have never worn makeup so I not know what to do with it”
“Would you like me to show you I used to help my sister when we were younger”
“Yes please if you sure you not mind looking at my ugly deformed eye”
“I understand it’s difficult for you dear,but stop worrying about it and just call it your right eye”
My heart was racing as Mathews hands touched my face as he put the makeup on”
Just as he had finished the lady brought 2 boxes in.
Mathew explained
“This time We have fitted you with plus 30 Lenticular lens for your left eye in this pair of glasses,you should see better and they are lighter” “Even though you can’t see anything out of your right eye I have fitted a low plus lens in instead of a black or fogged lens for it! think it is less noticeable that you have no sight in that eye”
He didn’t call it a deformed eye
I looked in the mirror and I could not believe how different I looked. Mathew had put a colour blusher on my cheeks and enlarged and darkened my eyebrows.and put bright red lipstick on mEv
I WAS NO LONGER AN EYE PATCHED GIRL.
The lenses were very strange,but I didn’t mine ,and I loved the bright red frame.
I couldn’t help myself. I was just hugging and hugging him.
“I hope you don’t mind Anne but I have canceled your trifocals as I think you will see better with separate glasses.so this is your other pair for reading”
“As you will only be using them sometimes we have used normal lens,Lenticular lenses are very expensive”
“I Think it’s time you stopped worrying about your right eye”
“I have fitted your left Eye with a plus 40 lens with a prism of 20 out ‘you had a problem keeping your eye straight when I gave you the card to read the other day, and I know you hate the black lens so I have fitted a plus 10 lens for your right eye I thought that better than just a plain lens”
“You mean you don’t want me to hide my right eye any more”
“I see no reason why you need to cover it”
“If I’m with you I don’t mind but I think I’m too shy to go out on my own like that,but if you really want me to I will try”
We had a wonderful afternoon shopping,Mathew held my distance glasses for me when I needed to put my reading glasses on. I was so happy that I forgot that I wasn’t wearing an eye patch any more.
Mathew was so kind he even helped me choose some bras,
When my mother died I was still flat chested, but in the last 7 years my breasts suddenly developed, but my Aunt would not give me money buy a bra, So now I had these 2 Huge heavy breasts just hanging uselessly there,I once read that some men call them udders.
The lady explain that because I had not worn a bra as my breasts developed they had stretched,and I now have what she called pendulum breasts, (I thought that sounded nicer than udders),when she lifted them,and fitted them in the 38 DDD BRA,,I could not believe how my shape had changed,instead of looking fat,and frumpy you could now see my slim waist,my breast were no longer felt heavy and just hanging against my tummy when I looked sideway I could see how large they were.
Mathew was speechless when I walked out of the changing room.haha
3 Hours later We left the store carrying lots of bags,we had been drinking coffee as well as buying lots of clothes..
Next we went into Boots the chemist ,We spend nearly one hour choosing thing from the makeup department
Then He suggested I stay with him for the next 2 weeks while my cottage was decorated. So next We bought new toothbrushes,shampoos,and many more things,he seemed to know more about sanitary products than me. I did not tell him I was used to using old towels and washing them each month.
Mathew had surprised me, by taking us to a beautiful restaurant,I even kept my reading glasses on during the meal.
I think people probably could see that I did not have a normal right eye,but Mathew said I looked beautiful and I could see to eat better so It didn’t matter.
It was rather late when we got home.
Mathew poured us a brandy and we laid in front of the fire listening to music, I did wish he had turned it up a little louder..
Mathew refilled my glass,then he picked up this beautiful silver box he lent towards me and opened it.
“Do you prefer filters or 120s”
I was to shy to tell him I had never smoked or even held a cigarette before’
The ones with the orange filer looked shorter, so I thought they would not last as long and I liked the little red sign on them,I thought it matched my glasses.
“The filter ones please”
Mathew looked a little surprised, but held the box closer and indicated for me to help mysel Nervously I took a cigarette out,it felt so strange holding it.
I had seen videos of women smoking. It looked easy,they normally just put it in their mouth and waited for the man to light it for them,then slowly suck on it before sexually blowing the smoke out.
I did not know how to do things sexually
It all seemed to go ok, I held it between 2 fingers put it in my mouth and let it hang there for Mathew to light it,
Then it all went wrong.
Mathew got the silver lighter and lit the cigarette,My nerves got the better of me and I TOTALLY forgot what to do,I took a long suck on the cigarette, instead of blowing the smoke straight out It went down my throat and seemed to explode in my lungs.
I started to cough violently,I was not going to let Mathew know I had never smoked before,so instead of waiting I put the cigarette straight back in my mouth and again took a long suck on it,this time the smoke was coming out of my nose instead of coming out of my mouth , I started sneezing and coughing, my eyes were watering and I spilt my drink all over my dress
Mathew was laughing
“You silly girl Anne ,why did you not say you had never smoked before come here”
He hugged me so tight I could feel my protruding breasts pushing against his chest instead of them just hanging uselessly there.
I felt him slowly taking my glasses off,suddenly it was as if I was in a thick fog.my eyes had already become so used to the extra power of my new lens,now without them I could see nothing. He dried my eyes with a soft tissue then I felt his warm lips kissing my blind eye. I did not know my body could feel like this.
Mathew carried me up to my room and helped me off with my wet dress,then said good night.
I woke up just after midnight. I hurriedly put my glasses on,I had to rush to the bathroom. It was good that Mathew had suggested I wear a pad in my panties, I think he had seen the staining on them yesterday,when he put them in the washing machine. Was it all the alcohol I had drunk? I was not used to it.
I was still unsteady on my feet.
As I walked past Mathews bedroom he was fast asleep, the moon was shining on his naked back.
I don’t know what came over me but I slowly got in bed beside him. I love the warm feel of his back on my breasts through my night dress.
When I woke the next morning I still had my glasses on,I looked around,and relished I was in the bed in Mathews spare room,had it been all a dream or had I walked back on my own from his room or had he carried me back.
I got dressed and went downstairs. I could smell the breakfast cooking.
A smiling face greated me .
“Good morning Anne did you sleep well”
I did not know what to say,
“Um yes thank you”
He just smiled back
“I have to go to work this morning would you like to come with me,we have lots of new frames arriving this morning you could help unpack them”
The rescreption lady seemed surprised to see me arriving with Mathew,but he just said I had moved into my grandmother’s cottage, that was just near his house and I had builders in so he thought it would be a help for her if I unpacked some of the boxes and I could keep away from the builders.
I really enjoyed my day, it was a little difficult to see some of the labels so I had to keep changing my glasses., Later she showed me how she put patient details in the computer.
“This is you Anne”
It was not possible to read it with my distance glasses on, so I put my reading glasses back on.
MISS ANNE JHONSON.
This young lady was born prematurely and has no sight in her right eye which sadly is very deformed and was patched at a very early age ,she seemed to be unaware of of the fact that she is blind in that eye also she had never been allowed to see the eye
The eye has been neglected and is badly infected,if not treated the only course of action would be the complete removal of the eye and the surrounding socket, and eyelids not just the eye. Wearing the eye patch has caused this infection to get worse and has taken away her confidence
Course of treatment
Drops for both eyes I don’t want the infection to spread to the other eye,she already has very limited sight in that eye.
Stop her wearing the eye patch and try to give her the confidence to accept that she is blind in that eye and can still look pretty.
Prescription
Left eye either a fogged lens. Or a very strong plus,that would hide the eye
Right eye distance plus 30 astigmation 4.75 prism out 15
Right eye reading plus 40 astigmation 4.75 prism out 20
Both these glasses will be very different to what she has worn before also I would expect that within 3 months of getting used to the glasses we would be increasing the SPH by about another plus 5 and the prism maybe as much as another 10 to straighten that eye.
I would NOT recommend she wear a prophetic eye,as this would be just for vanity and could cause another infection and the loss of the eye and socket if the infection returned behind the fake eye
I expect by the age of 21 she will find a white cane useful.
I was in total shock.The thought of having to use a white cane terrified me,did it mean that I was going to lose the little sight that I now had in my left eye.
But he had written it in such a caring way.
That evening we sat at the side of the pool,Mathew handed me a glasses case.
“This is for helping us today. I saw you trying them on, and noticed that you had to keep changing glasses, so these are for middle distance. We did not have much time to get them ready for you so there is just a clear plano lens for your right eye.
I opened the case there was this beautiful green pair of glasses,
“They are beautiful Mathew,that is so kind of you will you put them on for me please”
I could feel Mathews’ hands touched my face; they felt so soft and kind as he removed my glasses.
The room instantly seemed to fade into a total mist,without my glasses on everything is now just a grey mass.
As I felt the heavy weight on my nose suddenly I could see Mathews’ face smiling at me.
Mathew handed me a mirror. I loved how they looked,even though this was the first pair of glasses that had not hidden my right eye it was obvious Mathew did not mind that my deformed eyed showed
“You look beautiful, Anne,you don’t need to wear a eye patch or black lens anymore, just accept yourself as you are”
“Let’s go In and listen to some music, you choose what you want,while I get the champagne”
“You can turn the volume up if you want to,I notice today in the shop you had a problem hearing some times
I had never drunk champagne before. I was just finishing my second glass,When Mathew opened the silver box again, this time there was a row of cigarettes with green markings on them.
“O Mathew you are lovely did you buy them specially for me to match my green glasses”
“Please Will you teach me how to smoke, I’m sorry I made such a fool of myse,I should have told you I had never smoked a cigarette before”
I watched as he put the cigarette in his mouth and light it, he did not seem to suck hard, he just let the smoke slowly drift out of his mouth towards me I loved the menthol smell,It was so different,he indicated for me to relax my lips I could feel him place the cigarette against my lips, he then took it away and replaced it in his mouth letting more smoke drift all over me, Each time he slowly removed the cigarette and teasingly pulled it across my lips, my heart was racing as I felt the moisture on the filter from his lips.
“This time open you lips dear I will hold the cigarette, just feel it in your mouth before inhaling a little”
The first sensation was the beautiful taste of his saliva on my lips .nervously I took my first tiny suck on the cigarette. I could taste the cool menthol and feel the coolness in my mouth.
After a few more times he handed me the box . “Now you try dear”
I nervously took a cigarette out and held it between my 2 fingers as he lit it for me. My confidence started to grow as each time I put it in my mouth I sucked a little longer, I loved the cool menthol taste at the back of my throat.This time I managed not to cough, When the cigarette had nearly finished and I took one last longggg slow suck,the excitement was amazing,the adrenaline rushed through my whole body as the cool menthol hit my lungs
I had smoked my first cigarette.
I really wanted another but Mathew suggested I wait until tomorrow.
I felt very sleepy and my head was spinning,I think Mathew carried me to my bedroom.
I had that dream again.
But this time After I had been to the bathroom I climbed into Mathews bed and took my nightdress off,,but kept my lovely green glasses on,as I wanted to look at him. Mathew turned over and started to play with my breasts,I felt this little pain in the lower part of my body between my legs.i can’t remember much after that.just waking up alone in my bed.
I felt sad as I put my red glasses on and went down for breakfast. Why was I having those dreams? I so wished it had been real. . Mathew looked so happy that I soon cheered up.
“Would you like to come to work with me again today Anne,.we have some things to do this morning so we could have lunch and go in after.
I hoped the builders would take a long time working on my cottage, I wanted to stay longer with Mathew.
“Why are we stopping her Mathew”
“There is a chemist over there, I think you should go and ask for a morning after pill dear,you surprised me last night so we had no time to take any protection
My mouth dropped open.”You mean it was real not just a dream”
“Haha yes so was the night before,but we just slept together that night”
The chemist Lady gave me a pill to take and suggested I go and see my doctors for advice.
Next we had coffee and some cakes.
When we had finished Mathew said.”We have an appointment for you to see a friend of mine”
As we got closer to this shop I could just manage to read the large sign above the Window.
HEAR BETTER. A JONES audiologist.
“Why are we going in here Mathew”
“I noticed you were having a problem hearing in the shop yesterday and you turned the music up rather loud last night ”
“When I spoke to my friend this morning he thought you might have an ear infection or a build up of wax
”Mr Jones put some warm water in my ears and removed a little wax, Next he showed me into this glass booth and put headphones on me before shutting the door. After about 15 minutes, we went back to the office where Mathew was waiting for us.
“I think your friend would benefit from wearing a CROS hearing aid system”
I looked stunned “Why do I need a hearing aid? Only old people wear hearing aids and I’m only 18”
“Anna has no hearing on her right side,I will arrange for her to have a scan,but I think because she was born prematurely that the inner ear never fully developed.
I Hated my mother even more now,why had she not been more careful when she was expecting me. It was bad enough only having one eye,but now I discovered I Was TOTALLY DEAF in my right ear.
Mathew gave me a big reassuring hug.
“Could you fit them for Anne today please”
“It’s ok Mathew I DON’T need them I can manage ok”
Mr Jones Interrupted.”I think you really do need to try them Anne”
“O Mathew will you still like me if I have to wear a hearing aid, and can I still help in your shop”
“Yes of course dear I want you to work in my shop every day that’s why I thought you might need a hearing aid”
When Mr Jones went to get the hearing aids for me I reluctantly started to look at the hearing Aids on display.
“Come and look at this quickly Mathew. If I really HAVE to wear a hearing aid Do you think I could have this tiny red hearing aid,it would match my glasses won’t show very much”
“We will have to see what Mr Jones suggests”
When he returned I was puzzled,why were there 2 boxes in his hand and they seemed very large for such a small red hearing aid.
As he opened the first box my body froze ,in his hand was this large silver hearing aid,he then fitted this shoe type thing onto the aid, it had a cord attached to it.
“This is for your right ear”
It felt strange as he hooked this big thing over my ear and pushed the mushroom shaped plastic thing in my ear.
“If I have no hearing in that ear why do I need this ugly thing hanging over my right ear”
Mathew held my hand tight, “it ok dear let Mr Jones finish I’m sure he will explain”
Even worse was about to come as he opened the other box.
“I’m sorry Anne but only have the aid you need for your left ear in black at the moment, but when you get used to wearing them ALL the time I will order you a silver one”
The wire that was hanging from my right aid had another silver shoe at the end,he then fitted it on to the end of the black aid’ which looked so silly,a black hearing aid with this silver thing on the end of it. He then hooked the aid over my ear and pushed the plastic mushroom deeper into my ear. I heard 2 beeps followed by 2 more as he switched BOTH AIDS on .
I started to cry.”why is that clock on my right side so loud in my left ear but I can’t hear it in my right ear so why do I need to wear 2 of these ugly things, can I try that little red one instead PLEASE Mathew ”
Mr Jones explained that they were CROS hearing aids so all the sounds that I should hear in my right hearing aid were crossed over to my left aid.through the cord that connected them.
“Do I have to wear these big ugly thing things! please say NO Mathew”
“No of course NOT if you don’t really want to dear”
“But I REALLY would like you to just try them for a week or two dear,they might help you working in the shop all the time”
“If you REALLY want me to,then I SUPPOSE I could JUST try them WHEN I WAS WORKING”
I wanted Mr Jones to take them out now.
But he was insistent that I kept them in and Mathew agreed that I should try them.
It felt very strange walking out of the shop with these 2 large things over my ears and I could feel the cord hanging against the back of my neck,also everything sounded so loud.including my own voice I felt so ugly again.
Mathew said “He had rung his shop and had arranged for a friend to come and cover for him and was taking a weeks holiday so he could be with me while I was getting used to wearing these hearing aids”
That sounded as if Mathew had already decided that I was going to be wearing these ugly things ALL the time from now onwards
I had mixed feelings. I hated the thought of having to WEAR these big UGLY things ALL the time. But If it meant Mathew and I would be together for a whole week then wearing these things was a small price to pay,I’m sure that it’s only going to be a week then we can take them back,if I really have wear a hearing I liked the little red one.
Or would he be tired of seeing this disabled girl all the time.
Next Mathew took me to a friend of his that ran a beauty parlour,the lady showed me which chair to sit in. Mathew took THE hearing aids out for me then removed my glasses so the lady could wash my hair,he is so kind,without saying anything he sat on my left side next to me holding my hand all the time,even while the lady cut and styled my hair.
I could feel the extra weight of my reading glasses being put on me.I’m sure I must have red marks on my nose. It was a strange feeling as Mathew put the hearing aids back in, I did not like wearing them but at least it was a nice feeling when Marhew was putting them in for me,
Was that really me? That I could see in the mirror my long scrothy black hair had gone,in its place I could see my hair was now very short with red and green highlights running through it.The only problem was there was now nothing to hide the fact that I wore these HUGH hearing aids
That evening we had a barbecue beside the pool I had put the bikini on that Mathew had bought me. I sat beside the pool looking at my reflection and splashing my toes in the water.I loved the red varnish on them it matched my finger nails
It was starting to get dark so we went in and laid Infront of the fire.
Strangely The music sounded so beautiful and clear tonight
I could feel Mathew kissing my Right ear and the hearing aid but hearing him whispering you look beautiful from my left hearing aid.
Mathew was saying I looked beautiful even though I had my green glasses on and nothing to hide my blind eye and he was EVEN kissing the right HEARING AID.I love the sound it was making in my other hearing aid.this was a TOTALLY new experience for me.
Mathew lent over and opened the silver cigarette box and took 2 out and put them both in between is lips and light them before placing one between my lips,
My heart was pounding so fast, I loved the taste of his silva,then my head was spinning as the rush of nicotine kept hitting my lungs, I felt my breasts dropping out of my bikini top and Mathew playing with them.
THE NEXT HOUR WAS HEAVEN
The next thing I can remember was waking up in bed with Mathew beside me.
“Good morning _Anne you look beautiful,did you sleep well”
As I sat up I realised that I had still had my green glasses on and the hearing aids in. I looked in the mirror, I could see that without the support of my 38DDD BRA my long pendulous breasts were just hanging there and he had just said I looked beautiful.
This week had been the best in my life.We went to so many places and saw such lovely things .I alway wore my red glasses when we left the house, but I loved the feeling when Mathew took them off for me and put either my black reading glasses on or my bright green middle distance glasses on depending what I needed to see.
but sadly we are going back today
Mathew suggested I take a shower first while he made some phone calls. He carefully took THE hearing aids out for me and placed them beside the bed, as I got into the shower I handed him my glasses. After I had finished my shower I thought Mathew would be there waiting for me as usual.I called him but I could not hear if he replied.
It was very difficult to feel my way back to the bedroom without my glasses on. My mind flashed back to what Mathew had written on my card (She might find a white cane useful).this was the first time that I was alone without any glasses on since I was One year old.
I found my reading glasses on the dressing table,and instantly put them on. They were a little help I could see just a little ,I now realised for the first time how really bad my eyesight was without glasses.
I got dressed but needed to find my other glasses,maybe Mathew had put them on the bedside table.
It was such a relief to find my green glasses,as I put them on I could see the hearing aids on the table, beside them were the 2 boxes they came in.
I then remembered what Mathew had said “You don’t have to wear them but please try them for a week”
He is such a kind person
When I first got them i hated them,and was determined that I was not going to wear them and had only let Mr Jones put them on me.because Mathew asked me to,
Mathew was now giving me the choice.their boxes were open so it would be easy to put them in and give them back to Mr Jones tomorrow.
It felt strange picking them up I had never held them before,I was fascinated how they worked,I had never realised the left aid was so much larger. I had thought it was just the colour that made it look bigger.
Mathew had always put them in for me as I didn’t want to look at them.
If I was going to give them back tomorrow, maybe I should at least see what it’s like putting them in.
I was very nervous as I hooked the right aid over my ear and pushed the plastic mushroom into my ear,it was not easy getting the cord around the back of my head,my hand were shaking as hooked the large black aid over my other ear And pushed the other mushroom deep inside my ear
I turned the left aid on and heard 2 beeps it seemed different to when Mathew turned them on for me, then I remembered I had to turn the aid on in my DEAF ear. 2 more beeps and I suddenly heard Mathew calling me.
“Darling are you ready yet,please come down quickly I have a something for you”
Should I take them out quickly and put them in the boxes , if I wore them down stairs It would mean I was going to keep them.
“Just a minute Mathew I need to finish my makeup”
“You look beautiful darling I love your green glasses,
“Breakfast will be getting cold dear I have been calling you”
“I’m sorry darling I had a problem putting MY hearing aids in.Its the first time I have put them on myself. At first I only turned the black aid on haha, will you check them for me”
“Matthew Would you mind if I kept them,I really think that I DO need to wear them all the time now they are such a big help”
“That’s ok with me dear,I hope you are not wearing them just because I asked you to”
“Yes At first I DID Mathew,I so much wanted to be with you,But this morning when I got out of the shower and was on my own I realized I COULDN’T manage without them now ,also I and loved hearing the music with them in last evening”
“I have had a lovely time being with you this week Anne, I have something for you it used to be my Great GrandMothers
I opened the box
“It’s beautiful Mathew, will you put it on for me.
I held out my right hand but Mathew lifted up my left hand.
“Will you marry me Anne”
“Are you sure you want to Marry a disabled girl Mathew”
“It’s you,That I want to marry, nothing else matters this week has been wonderful
I have booked us a cabin on the night sleeper so we can spend the day beside OUR pool”
It was a wonderful morning then we started planning our wedding,also Mathew said I could work at the shop all the time.he suggest that he get his tectninion to teach me how to fit the lens into the frame then later how to cut the lens to shape. I was really excited about this.
Mathew went inside to prepare lunch.
We sat beside the pool on the grass eating our lunch. I could just hear the music that Mathew had turned on in the house.
“Now I have decided to keep My hearing aids. Will you show me how to adjust the volume,I want to hear the music louder but it’s on my right side. Mathew took hold of my hand and placed it on the little wheel,it seemed unbelievable .how much more I could hear as we adjusted the volume.
While we were eating I kept turning both hearing aids up and down, A week ago when Mr Jones put them in my ears I hated them,but now I love them I never knew people could hear things so clearly. I felt like a kid playing with a new toy,
“Shall I go and make us some coffee Mather, you stay here.
I was going to give Mathew a surprise so I changed my glasses,I now had my red ones on
As I walked through the hallway I stopped and looked in the mirror,Im sure my Grandma would not recognize me now,Mathew had taught me how to feel pretty, I loved my red glasses and hearing aids, and especially the engagement ring on my finger
I put fresh lipstick on and put the coffers on the tray and picked up the silver box
I sat down And opened the silver box,Mathew eyes were transfixed on me as I slowly took out an orange coloured cork filtered cigarette,with a red Tag,.I casually put it in my mouth and lit it taking a long slow drag on it before exhale the smoke towards Mathew I repeated it several times the orange filer was now bright red with my lipstick. I placed it between Mathews lips before lighting myself another.
This time leaving it hanging sexually in the corner of my mouth and inhaling it even deeper into my lungs. I now had.Both hands free.I was now in charge I took several longgg drags on the cigarette before exhaling Hugh clouds of smoke out of my nostrils all over Mathew.
I undid my bra and let my large pendulous breasts drop onto Mathews chest.
This was going to be the perfect end to a wonderful week.
I have so much confidence now, that even if I have to use a white cane I’m not Worried.
I hope we get married very soon,I had forgotten to tell Mathew that I had left my pills at home.
WHO KNOWS WHAT LAYS IN THE FUTURE FOR US .
. , .
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