I was 20 years old and had just come back to my hometown from long travells through Africa and the Middle East. I had just started to work as clerk in a big warehouse and planned to start studying pharmacy as soon as possible.
One evening in may, I was 20 years old, I took a walk in the big park of our town, the atmosphere was magic. It was one of the rare moments when light, the smell of the air, the sound of birds and the humming of the town highten the senses and emotions. On that evening in this park with its budding trees I ran into Maria by chance. I knew her from school and had met her on a couple of occasions in the tube, in bars, discos or just on the street. On this special day we spent an enlighting evening together and ended up in her flat, where things happened as they had to happen. We started a close and tender relationship that still goes on today.
Maria, who had to wear glasses since I knew her as a kid, was lying in bed beside me without glasses one morning a couple of days after we came together. It was maybe the first time I realised the difference between her with or without glasses. Being curious I asked if it makes a big difference to wear glasses or not to her.
“Of course it does, I can only see the next 10 cm clear, farther away things are quite blury. You must know that my shortsightnes has been getting worse every year, so I needed new glasses around every 12 months. I hope this will stop soon or ill be going blind.” “Sorry I didnt know about that, when did it start?”
“I was 9 and couldnt see the blackboard well, so my teacher phoned my mom to tell her that I need glasses” “Is it a menace for you, to need glasses?” “Not anymore, its part of me now, I cant even remember to ever have seen good without them. I had tried contacts, but I went back to glasses, I felt that I need the weight and the feel they add to my selfesteem.” She looked shy at me ” I hope you are not one of those guys that dont like to have a girlfriend with glasses.” “ No, not at all, to me its nice to have a beautiful, smart girl with beautiful glasses around me” She gave me a kiss and smiled. Later after we hungrily had breakfast in bed, I went to her bathroom. Looking for a towel to dry myselfe after showering I opened some wardrobes. In one I found a whole bunch of glasses- cases. I asked Maria if I could take a look at them. She joined me and explained which glasses she had in which year of her life. There was a nice silvergrey metalrimmed pair that I fancied. I asked her to put them on. She looked good, but was unabel to see well. They were less than half the strength she needed now. “ Ah, I remember that the pair before this one is not in my collection any more” she mentionen. I asked why and she told me about her schoolmate Nina, that she had been hanging around a lot as a teenager. Nina once had tried her glasses on and liked the feeling of wearing them. So Maria allowed Nina to wear her just filed glasses for the time when staying with Marias in her parents house. Nina liked the feeling of the glasses strength on her eyes and how the glasses changed her face. She extended the time she had the glasses on from visit to visit and one weekend when Marias parents were out of town and the two girls spent their time together in Marias house, she had them on from Friday afternoon til Sunday afternoon, only taking them off for sleeping. Maria tried to stop her from doing this because she might hurt her eyes, but was unsuccesful. Nina said, that she is like addicted to the feeling the glasses give her and that she is by now seeing very good with them on. After this weekend Nina asked Maria to leave the glasses to her, so she could wear them at her own home as well. Maria tried to convince her not to do this, but finally gave in. The next day Nina came to school with the glasses on. Maria was shocked and tried to convince her again to stop this but had no chance. From then on Nina was a constant glasswearer. To her mother- her father was no more living with them- she said, that she had problems seeing well and tried glasses from Maria and fortunatly they were perfect for her. Ninas mom was fine with that, because as a single parent she didnt have much money and was glad to avoid a big expenditure.
“Whow, I remember your friend Nina, nice girl, and I remember when she started to wear glasses, I thought it was because she had become nearsighted. I wouldnt have thought that its possible to put on someone elses glasses and get the eyes used to them.” I said. While putting the glasses back to their cases and to the wardrobe I wondered about how my eyes would react on glasses and got nosy. So I asked Maria: “Can i try on these silvergrey glasses? I am now really asking myselfe what it would feel like. ”Maria shook her head but handed them to me. So I put them on. Maria checked how they fitted and said, “well, they fit good, you must have a similar head to mine” looking at me she mentioned “Suits you very good, but I guess you cant see very good now and the glasses must be disturbing you” I looked around in the room, looked at Maria, everything looked distorted and out of focus and I tried to figure out what kind of emotion the glasses triggered in me. The only thing I felt, was that the distorted view in front of my eyes appeared to be like having a little transcendent curtain that was inside the rims: “OK, I am not seeing clear at all, its like being a bit impaired but it feels interesting, the weight of the glasses on my nose, the frame of my view made by the rims, well its like my eyes are challenged by to the power of the glasses.”
Right at that point Maria received a phonecall and talked for almost an hour to a colleague on her workplace. I used the time to walk around and try the glasses out. It seemed like a hard job for my eyes to have the lenses in front of them. After a while they started to feel warmer, almost heated and there was some tucking behind the eyeballs. This worried me a bit, but I wanted to extend the expierience I was just having. When looking out of the window the sun came out behind clouds. I was surprised: things in the distance, the street, houses, people walking, cars and trees suddenly looked clearer than expected, it was close to a sharp picture . My impression was that coulors were more intense, contrasts sharper though everything was quite a bit smaller than normaly and my view was only acceptable through the center of the lenses. I must have been standing there fascinated for at least 15 minutes until Maria finished her call and came to me. “What a mess at work, there are so many people ill, we dont know how to get things ready next week.” She told me. I told her what a pity that was and that I feared she might have not so much time for being together with me. So we talked for a while until she suddenly realized that I still had the glasses on.”Hey, Willi, you must have been wearing these glasses for more than one hour now, doesnt it anoy you like hell?” I told her frankly about my expieriences and that I was fascinated how good I saw in the distance.
“Please dont do the same as Nina did, you might regret that” Maria said. “Are you one of the girls that dont like to have a boyfriend with glasses” I teased her. She was embarrassed and gave me a kiss. “Better take them off now Willi, you look good with my glasses, very sophisticated, but you will hurt your eyes, they are way too strong to just wear them just for fun.”
I hesitated and then took Maria in my Arms and stroked her “ I am so curious , how this would go on, I would like very much to try to wear these glasses for lets say the rest of this day, it feels so well, -exciting” Maria looked at me and sighed:”But only this one day and I hope you get anoyed quickly by them and stop it”
We decided to go on a hike out of town, so Maria said, “if your not used to glasses you will stumble and maybe fall, this even happens to me when I get new stronger glasses.”
“Please let me try”
“OK” sighed Maria “You stupid, lets go”.
Going through the sunlit streets was marvellous, but not easy, Maria was right in that point. The change in dimensions and the fact that the field of clear sight was limited made it difficult to walk.
We took a bus and sitting on the upper deck in the front row I was amazed by seeing the town pass by through the glasses. Reaching the open fields we started walking. We had a lot to talk about and kept on kissing and carressing each other while strolling through the landscape. After a couple of hours I had the feeling my eyes were relaxing and my vision with glasses seemed to feel more comfortable. It felt nice, and yes, seductive. I remembered what Maria had told about Ninas addiction and felt a deep understanding. I asked Maria”Do you know what happened to Nina, I remember she left school before she finished it” “ She moved to Britain with her mother, we still write letters and have phonecontact from time to time. In Britain she trained to be a nurse. She is still wearing glasses and managed to get stronger glasses over the years and still loves the feeling of adapting to stronger glasses. Now she wears glasses almost as strong as mine.”
“Puh, this must be a strong addiction” I said and felt a bit uneasy.
“I hope you dont go the same way as Nina did, my only today glasswearing boyfriend” Maria teased. We came to a pub in the forrest, sat down to drink some coffee and water. Looking in the menue I realised that seeing in the distance was much easier than reading. I had to hold the menu far away to decipher what was written there. Maria watched me:“These glasses must have around -4 Diopers, if you would manage to read normally with them, I guess your eyes have changed too much to ever see well without glasses. Be careful Willy” After coming back to town we decided to have a meal in a restaurant and then go to the cinemas. By that time I felt really comfortable wearing “my” glasses. My eyes and brain had kind of learned to give me an almost perfect picture of what I saw through these glasses. It felt good. Coming home to Marias flat I sat in front of the mirror for long, I liked my look with glasses. Maria stood behind me stroked my shoulders smiled at me and said “ So, tell me whats it like to wear glasses this whole day for you?” “Well it started with a feeling of being impaired with the lenses, but it felt interesting, making me curious. Then maybe after 45 minutes I felt my eyes had a hard time coping with the glasses, almost painful, it felt like pulsations going through the eyeballs. And then the surprise to be looking in the sunlighted surroundings and seeing kind of clear. The best was that things look much crisper and colours are so intense. And now after wearing the glasses all day it feels relaxed and wearing glasses is something I can enjoy, even the weight on my nose has disapeared. Its strange but I have the feeling I´d like to repeat this.” “Better not!! I want to mention you about the weight, Willie, these glasses have glass lenses, they were made, when it was not usual to use plasticlenses, like today” Before going to bed, I took off the glasses in the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My god, I had trouble to get my eyes focused. I better should do what Maria wanted me to push to and never ever wear glasses again. Next morning Maria had to get up very early to go to work and I could sleep longer after she left the house, because I had a free day. When waking up my eyes felt a little bit strained. I closed them and thought about my plans for the day and after a while the glasses came into my mind. I thought about the lost focus the evening before, but I couldnt get the glasses out of my interest. So I got up and went to the bathroom. The glasses still rested neat and innocent, where I had put them. So I looked at them and tried to make a decision. But it was like an addiction. As remotely controlled I took them, cleaned them with a glasses cleaning cloth lying nearby and put them on. For the first 2 Minutes my Vision was unfocused, my eyes worked hard and then things came slowly but steady into focus.
Without thinking about the question if I should better take off the glasses or not anymore I started to do what I had planned for the day. Wearing the glasses was like a delicious additive to feeling what was “myselfe”. I cleaned up Marias flat and then walked the 3 miles through town back to my place to do my homework. Walking through the sunlighted streets was such a pleasure, the glasses felt like belonging to me, though my eyes still felt strained and the change in dimension and limitations in the field of view were noticeable.
Before arriving at my place I stumbeled into Fred, a friend I hadnt seen for long. In the first moment I thoughtMy god he sees me with Marias old glasses, he will think that’s weird, I should have taken them off before running into him. But that was too late now. We greeted each other and had a lot to talk about the things that had happened to us in the passed months. By talking with him I had no more thought about the glasses on my face, I felt they were there, nothing else. After 20 minutes of talking we said GoodBye and parted. Whow, it seemed as if he had not even made a second thought about my glasses. I entered my house and going upstairs met the neighbourlady from first floor. She always had latest news from the neighborhood and told me about Katrin in the top floor that had given birth to twins this morning. Same with her, we parted without mentioning my new glasses. After doing my jobs around my own flat I phoned Maria at her workplace. As expected she had hardly time to talk with me and so I suggested I could prepare supper at my place for the two of us. She agreed happyly and we made a date for the evening. I went to buy some things for cooking. The salesclerk in the grocery greeted me as an old acquaintance and we had smalltalk as usual. The saleswoman in the butchery took a better look at my face as usual and smiled warmly at me. Was wearing glasses heightening my attractivness? With heightened mood I started to prepare supper and then lay myselfe on the settee and started reading in the book I was just into. To my surprise my ability to read with glasses was much better than the day before. After a while I stopped reading and thought about my situation. What would happen if I take the glasses off now. Just squinting under the rim gave me a hint: things above and below the glasses were blury. I had to try it. So I took off the glasses and was shocked, everything around was a blur. My breath was going heavy, my heart was beating hard. Slowly I managed to get better focus without glasses. It took at least 5 minutes. I calmed down and tried to figure out what to do. Thoughts raced through my head. Is it that dangerous for my eyesight what I was doing? Would I accept to become shortsighted? What would my sibblings, what would Maria say? Without thinking about it, I put the glasses back on and walked to the window. This time it took only two minutes til my vision felt comfortable again with glasses. I was very calm, Ninas face came in my mind, I remembered that she seemed very proud when she came to school with glasses on. Tomorrow I had to go back to work. Would anybody mention a word if I showed up with glasses on? My expieriences today assured me, that there would be no comments at all. But from then on I would have to wear glasses constantly. The doorbell rang and with pounding heart I opened the doors. I heard Maria come up the stairs. When she arrived we had a long hug and an intense kiss. Maria had a lot to tell about her day. After she finished she took a long look at me. “Guess you put the glasses on after getting up and wear them all day?” “Yes and i enjoyed wearing them so much.” We started to eat, Maria liked the stuff I had prepared very much. After that we bathed together gave a massage to each other and went to bed. “ I guess it’s a waste of time to say even a word about the glasses” she said seriously. We didnt talk for a couple of minutes.“Well one thing I want to ask you for” I said ” Can you leave these glasses to me please, I mean can I use them whenever I feel like?” Maria looked at me for a long time:“no problem my dear Willy, I give up, you are old enough, take them as an intimate gift from me.” I felt such pleasure, when I realised, that I now had my own glasses, I felt they the best gift I ever received.
Next morning I got up earlier than Maria, showered and checked my vision without glasses by looking out of the window. It was good as any time before I started my proclivity for wearing glasses.
I had breakfast, the glasses were seated beside my cup. I wanted to wait before I would decide to put them on for my workday. I was unsecure to do this, I thought that it would be a decision for the rest of my life. Once I show up with glasses there, it was no way back. I started to read the newspaper and automatically I reached for the glasses unfolded the temples and put them on. My hands seemed to have overtaken and had made their own decision for me. I finished my breakfast and left for work.
Arriving there I was nervous, my heart bumped, my hands were sweating. “Hi Will” said Georgina which I met first, she was at least double my age, she gave me a bigger smile than on other days “the Boss wants to see you” I went to our foreman, he had special instructions for me a job with lots of driving around and collecting ware. We talked about details and I left. I met many people I was aquainted with, but nobody commented on the fact that I was wearing glasses. As if they had been in my face since years.
Like taking a turn on a crossroad my life went in a new direction. Every morning when putting on “my glasses” it felt hilarious and the accomodation of my eyes to the power of the glasses took lesser and lesser time. My relationship to Maria got closer too from day to day. After 4 weeks I woke up in the morning and for the first time my vision was blury. I rubbed my eyes and tried to get them focused but the blur stayed and after putting on my glasses I saw perfect clear on instance.
The glasses by now were like fabricated for me, there was absolutely no strain and no need to accommodate anymore.
After 7 weeks of beeing a couple Maria had introduced me to her family and she said, that she wants to get to know my parents as well. So we went to visit my parents, that lived in an other part of town. Maria asked me how I would explain that I was now wearing glasses? “Well, I tell them, that on my travelles I had first problems seeing clear and when starting my job I realised that I had a real vision- problem”
But to my surprise the glasses were no theme at all when staying at my parents house, their main interest seemed to be Maria and the joy about the fact, that I had found such a nice girlfriend.
On our way home Maria wondered about this not even asking or mentioning and made the conclusion, that the glasses fitted so perfect on me, that everybody thought it to be natural to see me with them on. I replied “Maybe its because I feel so complete with them. You remember, you told me that glasses are part of your self-esteem? I feel to me it’s the same by now.”
The big difference between Marias glasses and mine was a fact and I started to hang to the thought to increase the strength of my glasses.
The next time staying at Marias flat I told Maria, that I envied her to have such strong glasses and that I would love to wear glasses like hers. “ You stupid, be glad with your -4 glasses, you have done enough damage to your eyes. By the way,I was at the ophtalmologist today and I got a recipe for new glasses -11,5 right and -11,25 left. I would be glad if it just would stop now with my vision getting worse, I fear, that i become blind one day.” “Maria, I am sorry that you have these fears and I hope this stops now. But would you mind if I try another of your filed glasses, maybe just the next stronger after the one I wear?” “ Willi you can do to your vision whatever you like to, you are a grown up, I can only warn …” So I picked up her collection of filed glasses and asked her to help me find the next strength. Maria showed me and said” Well these look maybe a bit too feminine for you..” The glasses were a slight cateyestyle with darkbrown rims. I put them on and looked in the mirror. This was really different, but Maria said after looking at me for a while “ Ok, a bit stylish for a man but they still suit you, they blend perfect to your hair, I think its no problem. So I kept them on. I felt the strength of the glasses pulling on my eyes and needed a couple of days to get halfway used to the overcorrection. The recipe inside the case said they were -5.25 right and – 5 left. I was surprised that this made such a difference. For the next weeks I enjoyed the feeling of accomadating in the morning and it took 6 weeks until I was completely fine with my new glasses. 3 Months later I asked for more and without complaining Maria gave me the next pair. This one had a shape like the first frame, but it was of green- black colours and -6.5 right and -6.25 left. The challenge to my eyes was much stronger than with the glasses before, I never said a word to Maria, but there were days, when I wished I had stayed longer with the previous glasses. But after 3 weeks my eyes started to relax and after another 3 Months these became “my glasses” absolutely comfortable and easy to wear. My eyes now looked much smaller and on my next encounter with my mom she wondered, whom from I had inherited such strong shortsightness. I speculated, it might be because I was reading too much and told her, that it was OK for me to wear glasses.
This time it lasted almost half a year before my desire for stronger glasses arouse. Those were small rectangular grey plastic rims. Their strength was -7.5 right and -7.25 left. Whow, this was a real strong burden and it took me months to feel fine again, but I enjoyed every day of it. Now my glasses were looking real strong, I realised there were not so many people who were wearing such strong glasses. I was like in a fever, it felt intoxicating to force my eyes to more and more overcorrection..
Only 7 months later I asked Maria for the next pair of glasses. -8.75 right, -8.5 left, thin black small rims and my eyes becoming a bit smaller again behind the glasses. I had a hard week with stumbling a lot and was close to giving up. But finally my eyes started to tolerate the optical force and after 6 months I was fine with these. I was getting closer to Marias actual strength which luckily hadnt changed since. My ambition was strong and quicker than before I wanted more. The next ones were golden on the lower part and had a broader black part on top, they were even smaller than the previious pair -10 and – 9.75, these were the glasses Maria was wearing, when we first met. It was the hardest struggle of all of them. My eyes lost focus many times in the beginning and it was quite an effort to force them back into focus. It took me two months until my eyes gave up and started to get better used to the glasses. The feeling of accomadation my eyes had to go through in the morning didnt go away anymore. I knew, this was the strongest I could reach, because I was getting older and my ability to accommodate was consumed.I had reached my aim, glasses as strong as my beloved girlfriend.
On the 4th anyversary of our realationship, we still loved each other, Maria said ” in the beginning I was a bit worried that you started wearing glasses without needing to, but now I am so used to it, I can`t really remember how you look without glasses.”
“Like other couples who become similar over the years we now have the same strong glasses”