My diary Finding Me
My husband has a glasses fetish,I think that is the only reason he married me.
When Linda our Daughter was a month old she has her sight checked.Husband looked disappointed when the Doctor said Linda eyesight is ok.
Husband was very moody and short tempered and not interested in Linda as much now.
Asked what was wrong He just snapped at me
“Thought our daughter would need glasses like you”
Linda now a year old and talking, life is very difficult,my eyesight is failing now I’m afraid”
With all this stress I keep getting headaches , Husband angry when I said not want sex got a headache.
“GO and get your eyes tested,while I’m away and TAKE Linda with you”
I decided to go to the old Doctor that mum used to take us to.
He was pleased to see me and got my old record card out.
I explain to him that I was getting headaches and double vision when I was tired
“OK Amber.how long is it since this has been happening.Is every ok at home”
I could not help myself. I just blurted it all out.
“Can I have your glasses Amber? I want to check what prescription you are wearing now. “O These are Much stronger than when I last tested you. R -28.75 -4.75 180 L -25.75 -3.75 180 Add 5.00”
“Well let’s look at your eyes first”
After lots of clicks and questions ,the Doctor looked up.
“I expect you realise there has been a big change in your eyesight since you had your present glasses ,especially your right eye that has always been your weakest,in addition you have developed a very high astigmatism in your left eye,that is why your are getting such bad headaches
“I know they are very bad now doctor,I can’t see the TV unless I sit very close to it and I need a magnifying glass to read my phone messages ,can you stop these headaches”
“I will have a look in our lab to see if I can make anything today for you”
“What is my prescription now Doctor am I going blind Dr
“No Amber your eyes are healthy,so I see no reason why you will go blind,as you know without glasses you are very myopic, so everything is just a total blur to you now,This new prescription will help a little,but even with the new lens you are still unable to see the big E on the chart so you will be classified legally blind now,which means your glasses and lens will be free,I will help you register as a disabled person,you will get extra help with many things”
“This is your new prescription, “R-39.50 -5.25 179 L-27.25 -6.75 150 prisms out 20, I’m sorry but there is such a big difference In your 2 eyes that your right lens will look very different to the left len, I won’t have any myodisc lens in stock but I might manage something if We have any old C39 blanks they will be very thick and heavy I’m afraid,but they should stop your headaches and help you see a little further” “I need to think about what we do for your reading”
“My husband won’t be happy if I can’t wear Myodisc lens ,but I don’t mind what they look like Doctor as long as they stop my constant headaches”
You sit down while I pop down stairs and see what the lab girls can do for you”
“Thanks doctor”
“Ok that’s all sorted it will take them about one hour”
“Let’s go and have a snack and chat while we are waiting for your glasses to be made up”
“I suggest you keep these test frames on while we go to the coffee shop the new prescription should help.
“What is that dr”
“It’s a white cane Amber ,I think you should use it when you go out on your own or with Linda”
“Shall I try it now Doctor”
“Yes of course Amber,it will take a little time to get used to using it”
“I have been tripping over things lately,but I never thought I would need a white cane,it’s very long Doctor ,why has it a white ball on the end”
“You push it along in front of you then you will feel if there are and steps or anything in front of you”
“O I understand now”
“Your speech is so much clearer now Amber”
Thank you Doctor,do you like my 2 new cochlear hearing aids I’m wearing, I know they are very large but I hear so much better now” “I only had them turned on last week,my husband has not seen them yet, I don’t know what he will say about the size of them and the magnets on my head, he has been away on.Business”
“Did your mother ever explain to you why you started wearing glasses and hearing aids”
“No Doctor but after she died I read her diary”
“O did she mention me in the diaries”
“No Doctor,Did you know what she was doing”
“Not at first but when you were a little older I guessed something was happening” “Then one day she blurted it all out, just like you did today and explained it all,she did it to save her marriage and keep you together as a family”
“Ooo Doctor would you help me save my marriage”
“My husband is so angry because Linda doesn’t need glasses”
When we get back, I will have a look at Linda’s eyes”
“This is My youngest daughter she is long very sighted like her mother,she will look after Linda while we go and have our coffee,”
“I like the white cane Doctor, it gives me more confidence,I think I will use it all the time even in the house I often trip on Linda’s toys”
As soon as we got back the Doctor did some simple tests on Linda.
“Her eyes a perfectly healthy” “If you really want Linda to be like you,I could make a very weak prescription for her, like minus 0.50 or 0.75 and use a large blank and make the edges thicker so the lens protruded out of the side of the frames like yours will”
“O yes please Doctor,could she manage with minus 1.75 that’s what I started with”
Half an hour later the lab tec lady came up with 3 cases.
“This is Annabell my eldest daughter she started wearing glasses when she was 2 years old she now wears plus 38 with an Add of plus 7 for close work,she also uses a white cane,like you when she is out”
“She will fit them on you,I think you will see much better and the headache should go”
As she fitted them on me I could see her beautiful eyes they were so big and bright blue,my heart was pounding as she adjusted the glasses behind my hearing aids,as she looked up I could see the bifocal line going right across the lens the extra reading power making her eyes even bigger.Her large breasts pushed against mine as she adjusted my hearing aids .I could feel the pad in my panties getting wet.what was happening to me!
“Thank you,It felt strange wearing the big test frames while we were outside but I could see so much better and the headaches are much less now”
“You are welcome maybe one day we could meet for coffee and I could teach you more how to use your cane’ I think you look very beautiful now,I hope you like the new lens they suit you so much more than your myodisc lens also it will be safer for you then peering thought the 2 little 22m circles I notice you alway like wearing the pinky coloured NHS frames,so I found the biggest frames we had left”
I was shocked when I looked in the mirror the right lens was so thick it protruded out of the front of the lens by over half an inch and the same amount at the back. My eye looked so tiny and the right side of my face was very shrunken in. As I turned sideways I could see the left lens was nearly ¾ inch thick but only protruded out of the back of the frame.this side of my face was also shrunken in but not as much as my right side.
“You Said your husband had a glasses fetich I think he will find your new look very exciting ,he is a very lucky man having you”
“I’m afraid to show him these he like me wearing myodisc lens with the smallest size circles”
“Then is a very silly man I think you look more beautiful wearing these lens,you should try using more eye makeup I could help you with it if you would like me to some day”
“For your reading glasses we used the same power for your right lens but covered the back of the lens with opac foil,so you will only see light out of it,and for the left lens I have reduced the distance prescription by 5”
“Thank you I can just manage to read the top 2 liness of the print on the card and my eyes don’t feel to wander”
“O what are all the lines down the left lens Doctor”
“That is the stick on fresnel prism my daughter had to use for your 20 out prism,
His daughter went over to the desk and picked up another case.
“These are my special glasses for when I’m doing a lot of close work they are plus 45 with a stick on 25 out fresnel that I need for both eyes”
“Would you like to see me wearing them”
“Ooo yes o I mean yes please”
I started shaking
“You see mine are plus lens that’s why they bulge out so much in the middle,the lens are flat at the back, because I love wearing such long eyelashes but over an inch thick in the middle at the front”
“Your eyes look so big and beautiful,not like my little peas. “Will you keep them on while you fit Linda’s glasses please”
“Yes of course” “Father will you hand me my cane” “I’m not used to walking in them I can only see about 15 ins with them”
“Let’s sort Linda out now”
“WOW she looks so cute.Will she see,the lens are so VERY THICK” . Annabell picked up my pair of distance glasses “let me put them on for you,I can see better with these glasses on,I can check if they slip down.Sorry I need to get closer”
As Annabell came close I started shaking and breathing heavy
“Shall I adjust your hearing aids as well I think they are a little crooked, “There that looks better” “I have often wondered what it was like to need hearing aids”
“I suggest you both come back in 3 months”
As I went to leave the office I had to turn and take one more look at Annabell..
“Would you like me to come to the taxi rank with you,just wait while I change my glasses.she said. “My younger sister can bring Linda” “Hold my hand I know this way better than you”
Got home now,Husband due back tomorrow
Husband coming home tonight I’m so scared,I don’t think he will like my new glasses without Myodisc lens.he likes to see my tiny eyes peeking though the little 22mm circles.
He has always kept wanting me to start smoking,I hated the idea we argue a lot about it and I have always refused
I’m sure he won’t like my new glasses,I wanted to try and please him so I tried a cigarette, I hated the taste and it made me cough and cough,but I tried a second and a third. I coughed a lot more and was sick. Had lunch and a coffee,found another packet of cigarettes they said menthol flavoured,so I tried smoking them,the ones with the orange filters make me cough more but the menthol taste is so cold in my mouth , so I must practise more with the orange fitters,drinking coffee at the same time helps.
I’m feel very light headed,and relaxed
Heard husband car
I moved the armchair so he would not see the edge of my thick right lens, As he walked in through the door I lit another cigarette.. I took a longggg drag on the cigarette and blew smoke towards him before replacing the cigarette in the corner of my mouth.
“Hello darling I missed you,I hope you are happy to be home,I know you have always wanted to smoke like your first wife did,so I tried smoking,this morning to please you,it made be cough a lot at first but this is my 10th today”
I giggled
“I went to the eye doctor this morning like you told me to,I’m sorry but my eyesight has got so much worse,these are my new glasses and he gave me a white cane to use,I’m sorry dear the lens are so very thick but I’m Nearly blind,I’m sorry but this is what I have to wear now,I know you like me wearing Myodisc lens,”
Husband looked shocked,and seemed speechless
My husband took the cigarette out of my mouth, took a long drag on it
“You mean you have to wear those things now, you know I like you wearing myodisc lens”
“Yes darling I’m sorry but look I’m a smoking like you always wanted me to they are your favourite the Marlboro reds” “I picked up the packet a light another ,look darling I learnt how to inhale it just like you do”
Just then Linda started crying in the next room.
“Can you give her a bottle dear she not seen you for 2 weeks she has changed a lot since you have been away”
“Please take the cigarette out before you go into Linda”. Even though I still had a cigarette in my hand I took a long drag on it before stubbing it out . I heard a loud crash from the other room.
“Darling are you ok,did you trip over my white cane”
“O sorry dear I forgot to tell you,Doctor said you were right dear Linda needed glasses” I know her lens are very thick dear,but her eyesight is very bad, she must take after me.i thought we would buy her a white cane then she will look like me”
Haha to myself
“I think I’m going to bed early tonight dear I want to read in bed and try my new reading glasses, do you mind if I sleep on the other side of the bed tonight dear”
“Why is that, have you got another headache thought the new glasses were meant to stop that”
“My new reading glasses have the right lens fogged so I can only see light out of that eye and the other lens has lines all down it to keep my left eye straight”
“I bought you some new contact lens for you I don’t need my minus 28 Myodisc glasses now dear I know you love doing GOC ,my old hearing aids are next to them as well dear”
As soon as I put my reading glasses on I started thinking of Annabell and her beautiful big eyes,I could not concentrate on the book” I closed my eyes ,all I could see was Annabell in my brain,I had never pleasured myself before,but now was the time,
“Woke late this morning,I thumbled for my glasses. As soon as I put them on I saw the cigarette packed next to my reading glasses . I don’t know why but I lit a cigarette straight away,coughed a little.
Husband had slept on the settee last night and.must have left early. My cane was next to my bed,It was so nice having it.
Having a coffee and lit my second cigarette took a long slow drag on it and felt the warm smoke as I deep inhaled it, I rather like smoking now “
Just then I saw the light flashing on my phone. Had to go into the bedroom to get my reading glasses
To be continued
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