I was in 3rd grade when I was first beguiled by girls in my school. Previously, I had primitive little girlfriends with whom I’d play “house” and spend recess time together, but it was between 3rd and 5th grade when the footprint for my sexual preferences solidly manifested.
I will note that before this manifestation, two of my best friends were girls. When we were very young, 1st grade I believe both of these primitive girlfriends were prescribed eyeglasses for nearsightedness. At the time, the allure of glasses eluded me. Instead I was repelled by spectacles. Due to the influence of television shows, I strongly associated glasses with nerds and outcasts who were bullied thus I resolved to spend less time with these friends and avoid glasses as if they were a contagious pathogen.
My retreat from corrective lenses was relatively successful until 3rd grade. I had two best friends in 3rd grade and one of them had a sister in 5th grade. I was enamoured with a few older girls who I noticed slightly developing into their bodies. My friend’s sister Rachel was no exception. I especially coveted her.
Ironically enough, Rachel was also prescribed glasses for myopia shortly after I began to notice her. At first, I was positively distraught. Once again the voluptuousness of my young love interest was tainted by glasses.
Rachel should have vanished seamlessly from my conscience. How could I fall for someone marked by the Scarlet Letter of glasses? Yet, visions of her persisted in my mind and not only of her, but also of her spectacles. Coupled with visions of her long, dirty blonde hair carelessly sweeping the bosoms I was just starting to notice on girls, images of her glasses permeated my dreams. I can still see them to this day: they were small, purple, metal-frame specs. Within them were ever-so-slightly-curved minus lenses subtley protruding from the sides of her frames.
Even though she only used these glasses to read the board in class, I could not stop picturing her in my head. Every time I thought of her she was donning these marvelous spectacles, unless I was imagining her squinting and straining to see without her vision aids. I did this on occasion and it too was inexplicably exiting to my young mind.
[slightly xxx material forthcoming]
Though I was hardly sexually developed between 3rd and 5th grade, the early stages of pubescence were afoot and I believe this is when my first erections appeared. I would be thinking of Rachel, her glasses and sometimes just glasses themselves when suddenly I felt almost sick to my stomach as my penis hardened and rose in my pants.
I went to the bathroom sometimes, thinking I just had to urinate, but moving my genitalia in the restroom only accentuated its arousal. It took me until 6th grade to pinpoint what was happening to me. Eventually I realized how hopelessly intoxicated I was by the female form, especially bespectacled forms.
Meanwhile, a conversation was struck between me and another friend. The topic was who we considered the hottest girl in school. Rachel dominated my thoughts, yet I resisted uttering her name, petrified to admit I fancied a four-eyed girl.
Nevertheless, Rachel entered the conversation, but not from my end. It was my friend who insisted she was the best looking girl. I was dumbfounded and intensely puzzled. Was it possible to pine for bespectacled girls? Everything I saw on television directly contradicted the attractiveness of glasses, yet here I was, frozen in shock as my friend admited his desire for this girl.
I thought for sure I was a lone freak of nature, a genetic anomaly for revering someone with glasses, a device which should render any wearer instantly ugly and undesirable, or at least so I was told.
In confusion, I protested. “Rachel?” I queried, “but she has glasses!” Without flinching my friend abruptly retorted “so… who cares? She’s hot!” My whole world crumbled around me as this conversation broke down all previous standards of attraction and invented new ones in its place.
All good things perish eventually however and Rachel’s glasses mysteriously vanished from her desk in school. No longer were they waiting for her to reach for them and perform their function: enhancing her poor distance vision. Depressed, I realized she must have switched to contact lenses, leaving her lonely glasses home for the day with no one to rescue from myopia.
Despite the absence of her glasses, I was no less obsessed with Rachel and her visionary aids. The void which emerged when her glasses vanished was swiftly filled with a burning hunger to once again observe her eyes behind those magical glass veils.
Once the glasses were gone, I began to realize they were a driving force of my infatuation. Furthermore, the accordance I struck with my friend in determining Rachel was in fact attractive to others was a monumental step.
My friend seemed to hardly notice Rachel’s glasses. Her beauty was completely unencumbered in his mind by her spectacles. I, on the other hand, was endlessly fixated on her glasses, but maybe, I thought, this was ok. If my friend could appreciate Rachel even with glasses, maybe I could internally admit my crush on her as well as the large role glasses played in this ensemble.
https://vision-and-spex.com/a-peculiar-speculation-chapter-one-the-scarlet-let-t1438.html