When I was a young boy of 7 years I spent some weeks staying at my aunt Claire mums younger sister because mum was ill and in hospital for some time. I don’t remember very much of this time, but I enjoyed the time and the two of us had a lot of fun together. I remember one situation, when I asked Claire- she was wearing glasses constantly- to tell me what’s it like to need to wear glasses. She could not explain this really good to me. So I asked her to let me try her glasses. She took them off and carefully placed them in my face. I ran to the bathroom mirror to see myself. I was able to see quite good through them, but quite different to my normal visual capacity. Though seeing not perfect with these glasses I liked my look with glasses. I went back to Clair and asked if I could keep on wearing them a bit. She didnt really agree but did not insist to get them back. So I kept on wearing them for quite a while going through Claires house and garden. Claire made a few lame attempts to make me give her the glasses back. But after about an hour she got a bit angry and determinant. So I gave them back. I never again had glasses in my hands and it was no theme for me any more after that.
Many years later I came home from my last school day seeing forward to the 7 week lasting summer holiday. I am almost 17 now and hope to make a fast track high school graduation in about 6 months. My mum sat at the kitchen table and seemed to be quite concerned about something. I asked what worried her and found out that Claire had suffered a severe stroke this morning. I was very sad about that, because i liked her very much. Claire lives about 200 km south from our town. She workes as a state attorney, lives by herselfe in a little house with garden. She had been married for a couple of years, but that had not worked well and she was divorced now. She had a nice dog and an old cat. „ Who takes care of her pets now?“ i asked. „ Her neighbour, Anne, takes care, but she has to leave for a long period the next days“ answered mum. We talked about how to solve that and in the end i suggested to spend my summer holiday in Claire’s house. It would not matter to me if i prepared myself for the exams at home or at Clair’s place. My mum works full time and has no time to leave our town for longer. So she thought this to be a good solution. Next morning i got on the train. My mum waved goodbye and round noon i arrived at Clair’s house. My mum had advised me that I should first of all look after the dog and cat, tidy Claire’s place up, put new sheets on her bed and after meeting Anne try to find out how the health situation of auntie was. The dog was jumping up on me when I entered the house through the backdoor- Anne- she was informed that I would arrive and we had an appointment in her place- had left the door open, after taking care of the the animals needs in the morning- the cat was more reluctant. Tidying up was a quick job, because Claires house was all decent, except her bed. She suffered her stroke when sleeping and woke up not being able to move or speak any more. Her colleagues had wondered where she was and why she did not respond her phone and finally called the police. So she was found beside her bed and the ambulance had brought her to the hospital. Her sleeping room and bed looked dishevelled and so i started to work there. After taking off the sheets and airing the covers and pillows I tried to sort out how to bring things to order. Between bed and night stand i saw something reflecting light. I fond Claire’s glasses. They must have fallen down, when she tried to get out of bed and fell to the floor. I examined them if they were okay and thought about where to store them. And with them in my hands an old interest like being hidden deep in my subconsciousness awoke. They looked tempting and I liked their look. They had dark oval rims and golden hinges, the lenses reflecting light seemed to have great power. I felt a growing wish to put them on. What would it feel like to have them before my eyes. I felt unsecure about what i did, but i could not resist. I was unable to see things clear but wearing Claires glasses was a pleasant familiar sensation. This confused me because in the same moment i felt impaired by the optical lenses. So after looking around for some minutes I took them off and started to search for a glasses case I could put them in. Going through drawers i found one with more than 20 glasses cases in it. They contained glasses, that aunt Claire must have worn over the past years, one was quite new and empty. It contained a little card with numbers on it. It said -7.5 left ; -8.25 right and some more numbers. I cleaned the glasses from aunts night stand with the cloth in the case and stored them away and closed the drawer. I had done the cleaning and had another 3 hours before my appointment with Anne . After drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen my thoughts went back to the drawer with the glasses. Like remote controlled i went to the room with the drawer. What did I want? My vision was good, glasses no theme for me till then. I think it was the smooth pleasant feel of Claires glasses and the remembrance of my first glasses encounter. I opened the drawer and inspected the content. Every glasses case had this little card inside. The range was from 2.0 left, 2.5 right to the actual glasses that I had stored away. I tried some of the glasses, most of them were so strong that I had to take them off again. But to my surprise one of the glasses, it had a metal frame with mineral glass lenses that was wider on the topside and bowed in a curve on the lower part, the card said -2.25 left,-2.75 right, was different. I was able to see fairly well with them on. Things seemed smaller, but at the same time I seemed to see more details. I was thrilled. The glasses felt more heavy than the strong glasses aunt Claire had tossed beside her bed. But they fitted well to nose and ears and i had a strong wish to leave them on for a while. Walking with these glasses was like having drunk a shot of liquor. The picture I had through these glasses wobbled when I moved. But contrasts seemed to be sharper, colours more intense. I felt stimulated wearing them. With glasses on I started to unpack my stuff and make myself comfortable. I realised that there a strange tense sensation in my eyeballs came up, almost like pulling. It was not annoying at all it felt more like physical exercise. I inspected the stock of food in aunts cupboards and fridge and made plans how to get settled comfortable. While being like in a rush caused by the glasses wearing experience I completely forgot about my date with Anne. I felt like spellbound to do activities as a glasses wearing person. I inspected Claires living room and tried to get the TV running when I realized that somebody else was in the room. I looked around and saw Anne: „ Here you are Robert, I expected you to come to my house, did you forget about me?“. I felt like being caught inflagranti, blushed and stuttered“ oh sorry Anne I didn’t watch the clock“ I had a strong urge to take the glasses off, but in the same moment realized, that this might look strange to Anne. „Don‘t worry Rob, just come over to me there’s cake and coffee waiting for us.” I hadn’t met Anne- she was Claire’s best friend- for some years. So she must have thought, that since our last encounter I had been prescribed glasses. The whole afternoon she did not mention the fact that I wore glasses. We talked a lot about my future duties and about the chances that Claire would come back on her feet. „It‘s a very big stroke she has, if she survives it, she will hardly be able to speak and understand. But when I visited her, she seemed to recognize me. Her eyes seemed to speak to me.“ I felt very sad hearing that same as Anne was. We spent the evening together, cooking a meal and then watching TV. I was surprised that my eyes now felt relaxed, there was no more pulling sensation and I was able to see, well, perfect. From time to time I felt the weight on my nose. I was slightly exhilerated to sit there with Anne and wearing real glasses with casualness as if I had done so for years. Coming home to Claire s house I sat myself in front of the bathroom mirror. My features were accentuated by the metal rims- they were decorated with a brown stretch of plastic on the topside- the lenses reflected light flashes and it was obvious they had quite some strength. This was no toy, it was real glasses to be worn by a person that needs them to see right and I had been wearing them for hours without a pause. What am I doing I asked myself. But instead of coming to a rational decision I decided to try reading. I got out my Math- book and read about an analysis- problem. I got a piece of paper and started to calculate. The glasses were no obstacle to do my exercises. I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. before washing my face I took the glasses off. I was startled, my vision was kind of blurry. Luckily this didn‘t last long and my vision was good again. What i saw then, were two red marks on each side of my nose, where the glasses nose pads had been seated. I rubbed my nose but they wouldn’t go away that fast. I felt like branded by the glasses. ‘I better should not repeat that’ i said to myself. I fell asleep fast and woke up when the first sunbeams reached my face. After feeding the pets I did some workout and went to the bathroom to shower. After brushing my teeth I saw the glasses on the bathroom- shelf „ no not again“ I said to myself aloud and left the bathroom. While preparing breakfast I had the feeling to miss something. I couldn‘t figure out what it was, but soon my feet found out and walked back to the glasses. I put them on without a second thought and went back to breakfast and read the newspaper. The tenseness and pulling was instantly there again, the weight on my nose was there, but I felt pleased to wear „my“ glasses. After breakfast I took ‘Cloud’ Claires dog on his leash and had a long walk outside. The wobble when walking had almost disappeared. The sensation of walking out in public with glasses on was an intoxicating expierience. As if I had a new identity and saw the world with new eyes. My vision seemed to be more clear, and fresh. I was in a very heightened mood. Later Anne came round and asked me if I wanted to join her going to see Claire in the hospital in the afternoon. She gave me a list of things that I should pack together for Claire. This included her actual glasses. We came to Claires bed in hospital and I felt very uneasy to meet her wearing her old glasses. She would sure recognize them and wonder why the hell I wore them. But when we sat there holding her hand and stroking her, she gave me a bright smile through the lenses of her glasses that we had brought her, with her half hanging face. This evening I didn’t open my eyes while washing my face and put my glasses right back on after drying. I read long in bed closed the light and after putting “my” glasses off and deposit them on the night stand I fell asleep. Next morning the sun woke me up early and I was unable to get back to sleep. So I got up. First thing I saw was the glasses. I hesitated for a short moment- what would happen to my eyesight if I wear these glasses every day from morning to evening- but the wish to put the glasses back on was stronger. Ithe familiar tensness in my eyes was there again and I kind of enjoyed this feel. I went to a goodbye- breakfast with Anne. She was going to leave before noon to get her flight to Tokyo, where she would give lectures for the next 3 months. We arranged to phone each day, so Anne knows how things go with Claire.
After that I visited Clair in hospital again. Like the day before she looked at me with a warm and thankful smile. With her right hand that still was working she stroked my face, my long curly hair and touched the hinges of the glasses.
My life at Claires house came to routines. Looking after the pets, keeping the house tidy, visit Clair, phone with Anne and my parents and doing my school works. And getting used to wear the glasses constantly. The tense feeling after putting “my” glasses on in the morning got slowly less. I more and more got accustomed to the weight of the glasses, no more problems when walking with glasses.
After one week I felt pain on my nose, where the nose pads were seated. I took the glasses off in front of the bathroom mirror and as expected my vision was blurry without the glasses and I had to get my face close to the mirror to see my nose. There were deep marks on each side and they both looked inflamed. This was a bad warning. What should I do? Stop wearing glasses? My vision still was blurry, I felt a need to put the glasses on to see better but feared the pain of them as well. I had an idea. I went to the drawer with Clairs old glasses to inspect her collection. Maybe I could find a pair without nose pads. I found one pair with dark oval plastic rims that was seated higher on the nose and seemed to have less weight. But the little card inside the case read: 3.75 left and 4.25 right. This seemed to be a lot more than “my” glasses. I tried them on. No pressure and pain on my nose and noticeable less weight. I was able to see, but not as clear as with the other glasses. I looked at myself in the mirror and instantly liked the look they gave me. They were smaller and their strength was more noticeable. The minification I had experienced, when I had the metal framed glasses on for the first days was there again and my eyes seemed to be smaller behind the lenses. After wearing them for some time my eyes got very tense, there even was a kind of pulsation in them. I was surprised that I felt the stronger prescription so intense. What should I do? Give it a try or not? Cloud was jumping up on me. My god I had neglected to give him a walk since hours. So I got the leash and walked the dog, with these much stronger glasses on. I felt the higher strength of these glasses every second I had them on and was exhilerated by this sensation. Coming home I sat in front of the mirror and tried to calm myself down and get a clear thought. If my parents knew what I was doing… I might get real dependent on glasses forever…. did I really want that. I walked to the kitchen to have some water and there had a look at the clock. It was high time to leave for the hospital to visit Claire. So I left the house quickly and went there by bus. Arriving at Clairs ward my heart bumped heavy, what would Clair think when she saw me wearing these glasses? So before reaching her bed I took the glasses off, stored them in my pocket and with blurry view I encountered her. As she could not speak - the doctor had told me, that there was little chance that her ability to speak might come back – I told her what was going on with her pets and how my days proceeded and held her hands. As far as I could see her look at me was a little puzzled and asking. With her healthy hand she went to my eyes and made a circle with thumb and forefinger. I understood, she wondered why I had no glasses on. So I got the black rimmed glasses out and put them on. Her look was amazed and so I stuttered and told her that my nose was inflamed by the nose pads of the other glasses and that this was the reason for me wearing these glasses now. But her amazement wouldn’t stop, she waved her healthy arm as if she said “I don’t understand this all” and so I confessed the whole glasses story to her and that I was glad to wear glasses same as she did. Claire shook her head but finally shrugged her healthy shoulder and gave me an understanding smile. It felt like ‘its okay Robert, don’t get worried’
After saying goodbye I walked the whole way home. The tenseness in my eyes had completely vanished and I was surprised how good I saw. I had the impression these stronger glasses made my vision even sharper, like having eagles eyes. I tried reading far away number plates of cars and was thrilled to even decipher those that were 150 meters away. I knew now for sure, that I want to wear glasses for ever. That night I was lying in bed with glasses on for long and thinking about what happened to me and how to get my parents to accept the fact that I was short sighted now and a constant glasses wearer. I designed a story it was like that:
‘One day when entering the hospital to visit Claire I was approached by a young doctor that asked me to participate in an eyetest. With this test the eyedoctors wanted to find out if there are people that were short- or farsighted and had not mentioned this yet. I participated and to my surprise was told, that I had severe myopia, that my eyes and brain had helped me to dissimulate for the past months and years. So they recommend me to go to an optometrist. I did that and he found that I needed -3.75 diopers left and -4.25 right. He offered me to make me new glasses in an old rim, that he gave me for free. This was the cheapest way to get glasses for me. He made them for me and I was astonished how well I could see now.’ I thought about it for some time and next evening I dared to tell it to mum. “ My god Robert, I have always told you that the long close up work and reading you practice might lead to myopia. How do you feel with this new menace?” “ Its okay mum, i’m already used to it.” So I came over this cliff. I kept on enjoying my days with pets, household, working myselfe through maths and physics, visiting Claire. Some periods, when being absorbed by what I just did I completely forgot about the glasses. Waking up in the morning my unaided vision was perfect. After putting “my” glasses on I felt my eyes work and get tense and after a couple of minutes I was completely adjusted to the them. After two weeks in hospital Claire was transferred to a nearby rehabilitation clinic. I had to reduce my visits to 3 times a week, because I needed a long time to get there. So I was more time by myself and sometimes just lay in the garden to relax.
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